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ArWen the Eternally Surprised
Author: Ria Time: 2007/11/22
Arwen encounters a strange monk and gains a little extra time.
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Elf Ruler, a Parody
Submitter: Ria Date: 2007/8/25 Views: 307 Rate: 9.00/1
Act 1, Scene 9
Scene IX

The Chorus of Elves enters, following Maglor. Sauron enters after them, attended by orcs. The Chorus sings in a mock-lamenting tone to Carcharoth.

Chorus.
With aspect stern
And gloomy stride,
We come to learn
How you decide.

Don't hesitate
Your choice to name,
A dreadful fate
You'll suffer all the same.
A dreadful fate
You'll suffer all the same.

Sauron:
To ask you what you mean to do we punctually appear.

Carchar:
Congratulate me, gentlemen, I've found a Volunteer!

All:
The Sindarin equivalent for Hear, Hear, Hear!

Carchar:
(presenting Luthien, still disguised) The vampiress!

All:
Hail, Vampiress!

Carchar:
Enough fierceness?

All:
Yes, we confess!

Carchar:
She yields her life if I'll Beren surrender.
Now I’d devour that man with meat so tender,
And would not yield him with a ready will,
Or him allot,
If I did not
Regard my flesh as meat yet tenderer still,
As meat yet tenderer still!

Beren and his companions enter. Finrod and Baragund are equipping him for his trip into Angband. They are simultaneously encouraging him and trying not to show him how afraid they are for him.

Carchar reluctantly gives Luthien’s hand to Beren, then begins to lead them toward the gates to his lair and Angband. They are tearfully exultant. The chorus wavers between sorrow over seeing Beren led into Angband and delight that they will not have to go to war, while Carchar stares regretfully after his meal. The scene is loud and busy.

Luthien:
The threatened cloud has passed away,
Beren:
And brightly shines the dawning day;
Luthien:
What though the night may come too soon,
Beren:
There's yet a little afternoon!

Chorus of Elves:
Then peace is here
Gone is war,
Elves safely cheer
And fear no more.
Then peace is here
Gone is war,
Elves safely cheer
And fear no more.
Elves safely cheer
And fear no more,
Elves safely cheer.

Sauron and orcs:
Though battles cease, though battles cease and peace for some,
Let’s celebrate, let’s celebrate the feast to come!
Though battles cease and peace for some,
Let’s celebrate the feast to come!
Though battles cease and peace for some,
Let’s celebrate the feast to come!

Sauron, Carcharoth and the orcs withdraw, leaving Luthien, Beren and his companions addressing the chorus.

Baragund:
A day, a week, a month, a year —

Beren:
A certain end leaves less to fear,

Finrod:
Though eventime comes much too fast,

Luthien
We'll seize the day before it’s passed!

In the midst of this, Celegorm enters dramatically. He wears elaborately jeweled armor.

Celegorm:
Your folly cease! Assist me, all of you!

Chorus:
Why, who is this whose evil eyes
Rain blight on our festivities?

Celegorm:
I claim that lying lady, over there!
Oh, fool! To shun delights that never fade!

Chorus:
Go, leave thy deadly work undone!

Celegorm:
Come back, oh, shallow girl: no more evade!

Chorus:
Away, away! Ill-favoured one!

Luthien: (aside to Beren)
Ah! 'Tis Celegorm!
The lord of whom I told you.
(About to go.)

Celegorm:
(detaining her)
No! You shall not go,
These arms shall thus enfold you!

Baragund:
For she's going to leave for Angband —

Chorus.
Angband!

Baragund:
Find another vampire, Sir,
Although you desire her,
You don’t want to visit that land —

Chorus.
And — and — !

Baragund:
And join us on safe elven ground.
I ask that you abandon this stand —

Chorus.
Stand — stand.

Baragund:
You'll find in the end that
It’s quite a godsend that
It didn’t quite go as you planned —

Chorus.
Planned — planned!

Baragund:
There's lots of good foes to be found!

Luthien slips away from him and hides on the other side of the stage, with the Chorus between her and Celegorm.

Celegorm:
Oh, faithless one, this insult you shall rue!
In vain for mercy on your knees you'll sue.
I'll tear the mask from your disguising!

Luthien: (aside)
Now comes the blow!

Celegorm:
Prepare yourselves for news surprising!

Luthien: (aside)
How foil my foe?

Celegorm:
No vampire she, nor something crueler!

Beren: (aside, struck by an idea)
Ha! ha! I know!

He waves frantically to the Chorus. They sing loudly in Sindarin, cutting across Celegorm.

Celegorm:
She is the child of your —

Chorus.
A Elbereth! A Gilthoniel!

Celegorm:
This way you’ll never make my wrath grow cooler!
She is the only child of your —

Chorus.
A Elbereth! A Gilthoniel!

Celegorm:
I'll spoil —

Chorus:
A Elbereth! A Gilthoniel!

In the melee, Luthien and Beren escape Celegorm. He chases the Chorus of Elves around the stage, and is left shaking his fist futilely.
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