Act 2, Scene 3
Scene III
Sauron enters, in a richer costume than before and looking worried.
Carchar:
Now then, Lord Mayor, what is it?
Sauron:
The Elf Ruler and his court are approaching the border, and will be here in ten minutes.
Carchar:
The Elf Ruler! He's coming to see whether this border is ferociously guarded! (to Luthien) Now look here, you know — this is getting serious — a bargain's a bargain, and you really mustn't frustrate the ends of Morgoth by committing suicide. As a creature of darkness and a vampiress, you are bound to die with this man in the jaws of the Most Cruel Devourer.
She spreads her cloak wide and the stage darkens suddenly so that she and Beren are in the shadows.
Luthien:
Very well, then — come rip off our heads.
Carchar:
What now?
Luthien:
Certainly; at once.
Sauron:
[Fearfully] Bite it off! Bite it off!
Carcharoth begins to feel his way across the stage, but Beren and Luthien slip past him.
Carchar:
My dear Maia, I don't see you helping to eat them. Why, you haven’t even summoned a little fire so that I can catch them!
Sauron:
Still, as Most Cruel Devourer —
Carchar:
My good sir, as Most Cruel, I’ll gladly bite their heads off. I didn’t expect to have to catch them first. I don't know how it's done.
Sauron:
Come, my poor fellow, we all have unpleasant duties to discharge at times. Remember, sooner or later it must be done.
Carcharoth makes a mighty leap at Beren and Luthien, but they slip away again and he falls on his face.
Carchar:
(Whining in pain) Must it? I'm not so sure about that!
Luthien:
[coaxingly] What do you mean?
Carchar:
Why should I catch and kill you when sending you on to Angband and saying I ate you will do just as well? Here are plenty of witnesses — the Lord Chief Justice, Lord High Admiral, Commander-in-Chief, Secretary of State for the Home Department, First Lord of the Treasury, and Chief Commissioner of the Balrogs.
Beren:
But where are they?
Carchar:
There they are. They'll all swear to it — won't you?
He looks beseechingly at Sauron from where he lies on the ground.
Sauron:
Am I to understand that all of us high Officers of State are required to perjure ourselves to ensure your safety?
Carchar:
Why not! You'll be grossly insulted, as usual.
Sauron:
Will the insult be cash down, or at a date?
Carchar:
It will be a ready-money transaction.
Sauron:
(aside) Well, it will be a useful discipline. (aloud) Very good. Choose your fiction, and I'll endorse it! (aside) Ha! ha! Maia Pride, how do you like that, my buck?
Beren:
Let us just clear off to Angband then, and you may consider us to have died hideously.
Carchar:
Oh, bother you both! Here, Commissionaire (to Sauron), go and fetch them both across the border. (To Beren and Luthien.) Take yourselves off and get tortured to death, only go away and never come back again.
Luthien:
But one moment —
Carchar:
Not for worlds. Here comes the Elf Ruler, no doubt to ascertain whether I've slaughtered anyone recently, and if he finds you alive I shall have the greatest difficulty in persuading him that I've eaten you. (Exeunt Luthien and Beren, followed by Sauron.) Close thing that, for here he comes!
Sauron enters, in a richer costume than before and looking worried.
Carchar:
Now then, Lord Mayor, what is it?
Sauron:
The Elf Ruler and his court are approaching the border, and will be here in ten minutes.
Carchar:
The Elf Ruler! He's coming to see whether this border is ferociously guarded! (to Luthien) Now look here, you know — this is getting serious — a bargain's a bargain, and you really mustn't frustrate the ends of Morgoth by committing suicide. As a creature of darkness and a vampiress, you are bound to die with this man in the jaws of the Most Cruel Devourer.
She spreads her cloak wide and the stage darkens suddenly so that she and Beren are in the shadows.
Luthien:
Very well, then — come rip off our heads.
Carchar:
What now?
Luthien:
Certainly; at once.
Sauron:
[Fearfully] Bite it off! Bite it off!
Carcharoth begins to feel his way across the stage, but Beren and Luthien slip past him.
Carchar:
My dear Maia, I don't see you helping to eat them. Why, you haven’t even summoned a little fire so that I can catch them!
Sauron:
Still, as Most Cruel Devourer —
Carchar:
My good sir, as Most Cruel, I’ll gladly bite their heads off. I didn’t expect to have to catch them first. I don't know how it's done.
Sauron:
Come, my poor fellow, we all have unpleasant duties to discharge at times. Remember, sooner or later it must be done.
Carcharoth makes a mighty leap at Beren and Luthien, but they slip away again and he falls on his face.
Carchar:
(Whining in pain) Must it? I'm not so sure about that!
Luthien:
[coaxingly] What do you mean?
Carchar:
Why should I catch and kill you when sending you on to Angband and saying I ate you will do just as well? Here are plenty of witnesses — the Lord Chief Justice, Lord High Admiral, Commander-in-Chief, Secretary of State for the Home Department, First Lord of the Treasury, and Chief Commissioner of the Balrogs.
Beren:
But where are they?
Carchar:
There they are. They'll all swear to it — won't you?
He looks beseechingly at Sauron from where he lies on the ground.
Sauron:
Am I to understand that all of us high Officers of State are required to perjure ourselves to ensure your safety?
Carchar:
Why not! You'll be grossly insulted, as usual.
Sauron:
Will the insult be cash down, or at a date?
Carchar:
It will be a ready-money transaction.
Sauron:
(aside) Well, it will be a useful discipline. (aloud) Very good. Choose your fiction, and I'll endorse it! (aside) Ha! ha! Maia Pride, how do you like that, my buck?
Beren:
Let us just clear off to Angband then, and you may consider us to have died hideously.
Carchar:
Oh, bother you both! Here, Commissionaire (to Sauron), go and fetch them both across the border. (To Beren and Luthien.) Take yourselves off and get tortured to death, only go away and never come back again.
Luthien:
But one moment —
Carchar:
Not for worlds. Here comes the Elf Ruler, no doubt to ascertain whether I've slaughtered anyone recently, and if he finds you alive I shall have the greatest difficulty in persuading him that I've eaten you. (Exeunt Luthien and Beren, followed by Sauron.) Close thing that, for here he comes!
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