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ArWen the Eternally Surprised
Author: Ria Time: 2007/11/22
Arwen encounters a strange monk and gains a little extra time.
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Elf Ruler, a Parody
Submitter: Ria Date: 2007/8/25 Views: 305 Rate: 9.00/1
Act 1, Scene 5
Scene V

Once Sauron, Carcharoth and their attendant orcs have left, the Chorus of Elves return to the stage. They look towards the opposite entrance and point out the three companions.

Chorus:
Comes a train of mortal fighters
From Werewolf Isle’s prisons free,
Each a little bit in fright is,
Wondering what the world can be!

Is it but a world of trouble —
Sadness set to song?
Is its goodness but a bubble
Bound to break ere long?

As the Chorus describes them, they enter, looking travel-worn and a little afraid. The three are almost identical in dress and general looks, but Beren stands somewhat in the forefront. Finrod is wounded, and disguised as an Atan.

Beren, Finrod & Baragund:
Three mortal men of old are we,
Last of our mortal company,
Eager to fight the Enemy,
Three mortal men of old!

Beren:
Bravely we do what must be done! (brandishes his shield)

Finrod:
Danger is moot, for we care for none! (brandishes his shield)

Baragund:
Life is a war that must be won! (brandishes his shield)

They flourish their weapons in a martial display.

Beren, Finrod & Baragund:
Three mortal men of old!
Three mortal men who, Thu releasing,
Come from a llife of war unceasing,
Death and despair are still increasing —
(suddenly quiet) Three mortal men of old,
Three mortal men of old!

Beren:
One mortal man on a quest, Beren —

Finrod:
Two mortal men oathbound to defend —

Baragund:
Three mortal men as strong as ten –

Beren, Finrod & Baragund:
Three mortal men of old!

Carchar and Sauron return, and Carchar approaches Beren.

Carchar:
At last, my meal that is to be!

He makes a grab at Beren, who dodges him.

Beren:
You're not going to bite me before all these people?

Carchar:
Well, that was the idea.

Beren:
[aside to Finrod] It seems odd, doesn't it?

Finrod:
It’s rather peculiar.

Carchar:
Oh, it's quite usual, I think. Eh, Lord Chamberlain?

He appeals to Sauron.

Sauron:
I have known it done.

Carchar reaches again to grab Beren, but Beren eludes him again. He and his companions rush over to Luthien as she comes in through another entrance.

Carchar follows them over, intrigued.

Carchar:
I beg your pardon. Will you present me?

The three look from one to another, dismayed, then begin to talk all at once.

Beren:
Oh, if you please, she's the batmaiden who used to fly so frighfully in the — on the —

Baragund:
At the Island Fortress.

Beren:
Yes, I think that was the name of the location.

Luthien:
Hound, I have the misfortune to need your prey, Beren — oh, I know I deserve your anger!

Carchar:
Anger! Not a bit, my bat. Why, I need him myself. Charming little bite, isn't he? Zesty taste, good flesh. Taking little thing, altogether. Very glad to hear my opinion backed by a competent authority. Thank you very much. Goodbye. [to Sauron] Take her away.

Sauron advances on Luthien and she runs away before him. He follows her off. Carchar makes another grab at Beren, but Finrod and Baragund unite to drive him away, leaving Beren alone on stage.
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