sac·ri·lege n. 1. The act of depriving something of its sacred character

She found herself in Anessen’s company more than before as well, but they didn’t exchange thoughts much at all. He seemed very curious about her life and where she was from and what she did there, but the Padawan refused to reveal to him much of anything, and as a matter of fact, had completely given up on trying to tell him the scientific ways of the galaxy because she saw how dead-set on his faith was in the mythos of this planet. Perhaps, it wasn’t about seeking truth. Perhaps it was something extraordinary to believe in, to keep one going through the day. And for those with too few midichlorians to know of oneness with the Force, faith was a powerful driving essence that without would result in some of the things that the Code forbade.

But then again, there were also Sith.w

Their lives did not depend on faith. They were also trained in the Force. And they also did not follow the Code.

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to victory.

So then, perhaps it was not just the training, and the Jedi code, and even skill with the Force that made one a tranquil, serene, and occasionally celibate defender of the Light.

Perhaps the defining variable in the equation was…

…the individual?

“Adai?”

The girl was shaken from her thoughts as her attention was suddenly focused on the young humanoid male walking at her side.

“Hiraetha,” she said, sighing. ‘Sorry’ was one word of her slowly growing Sindarin vocabulary that Anessen was teaching her.

What troubles you, Adai? I see that your mind has been constantly wandering over the past few days.

It’s nothing.

Surely it is something?

It is, but it’s no concern of yours.

Adai felt that her remark had hurt him in some way, and she suddenly felt guilty for having to keep so much from him.

“Amin rangwa,” he said sadly.

The Padawan sighed. “Amin…” she began, then realized that she didn’t know the words to say how she felt. I miss home. I miss the bustle of Coruscant, the training, my friends, my Mistress. I feel alone here. I feel alien here.

You feel: “Milyeska.”

“Milyeska?” she asked.

Anessen nodded. I have never been away from this place, though I am leaving soon with my Father. We will sail to the Undying Lands in the West.

Adai looked at him and wondered what he meant by ‘undying lands’. A place that doesn’t tarnish, or fall ruin, or get dirty, like the seedy little planets in the Outer Rim?

Nothing lasts forever, Anessen. Everything has a beginning, and everything has an end.

The Undying Lands on the shores thither had a beginning, yes, and it is prophesized that it will also have an end: The Great End, where Morgoth, the first and greatest of all evils, will break free from his prison in the Void beyond the circles of the world, and there will be a great battle in which He will be destroyed forever. Those who perished in the War of Wrath, or swallowed up by the sea in that doomed Numenorian fleet long ago… all will fight against him. Even the Valar.

Adai’s mind was filled with extraordinary images of vast battlefields clouded with smoke and ash, or of a gigantic armada of sea-faring ships reaching some holy shore, then being sucked down into a chasm in the ocean.

When I get to Valinor, I know I will miss Middle-earth just as you miss your home. Except for me, there will be no return.

Are you saying that you believe that I’ll get to go home?

I think so.

I don’t know about that, Adai thought, and sighed audibly. All I can see in my future is that I’ll just barely miss something huge. Then my vision clouds after that.

Have faith, Adai. Things will be well for you. The elf put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently.

She looked up ahead and saw a man slowly walking down the path, his hands behind him. He looked up through the trees in a dreamy manner, as if his thoughts were far away. Adai reached out to him and saw a woman with dark hair, smiling. There was also a metal sword, and… a ring?

She withdrew from his mind when he looked at her with an old, sober gaze. He probably felt his thoughts being invaded. What was his name again? Oh, right: Aragorn.

She met his gaze and the two locked stares and they idly walked past each other, neither one wanting to be the first to break away. But when they passed, Adai looked down at the ground, knowing that he didn’t trust her either. She saw it in his mind.

That was Aragorn, the son of Arathorn. He is to be the king of a country that has been missing its royal line for many centuries. He—

Is doubtful of himself and doesn’t want to be king. Adai nodded. I know. I read him.

The two came to a wide fountain nestled in the roots of one of the huge trees they stopped there and both sat on the stone-hewn edge. Adai sat cross-legged with her chin resting in her hand. She gazed into the water.

Would there be anything that I could do to aid you on your journey home?

Adai did not look up from the water. If you were a mechanic, then maybe, she thought to herself. But even if I were to get home… I’ll probably get expelled from the order.

“N’uma,” she said.

Are you sure there is nothing that I can be of service for?

“Uma.”

A long silence passed between them. Adai felt that there was some sort of conflict going on inside the young man’s head.

I should very much like to help you, Adai. It saddens me to see you so distressed. I would be happy to see that you returned home… even if I would never see you again.

The Padawan jerked her head up. Was it what she thought it was? The girl grew red in the face but quickly hid any sort of emotional reaction that would have surfaced had she not been trained to remain in calm control of everything that she did.

She knew it would only further hurt him, but… she couldn’t possibly.

I would need help in two very different ways, Anessen, and unfortunately, you are not in any position to be of help in either one.

Adai felt as though she had driven a knife into his gut.

Then since it seems that I can do nothing, I hope that my company does something for you. He turned his gaze away from her and stared into the water.

It does.

It was another long silence. Adai knew that Anessen was stewing as they stared into the water, and there was an anger rising in him. Any minute, now. Any minute.

He abruptly turned to her, and grabbed her forearms roughly in his hands. His hold on her was surprisingly strong. Her eyes steadily went from his hands to his smoldering face.

All I wanted was to help you, Adai! I wanted to know you more. I’m kind to you, I spend much of my time with you, and all I ask for in return is to learn more of you. Curious how you only harden and grow cold when I try to get close to you. Why is this, Adai? Why do you refuse to let me in?

Anessen bored into her with his blue eyes, demanding an answer. She realized at this point he didn’t care if the answer was something he didn’t want to hear. She figured she hurt him enough in the past few days enough.

It’s the Code.

What Code. You never spoke to me of any Code.

Adai wrenched her arms free of his tightening grasp, and stood up from the fountain, throwing her arms up.

There is no emotion, there is peace; there is no ignorance, there is knowledge; there is no passion, there is serenity; there is no death, there is the Force.

Anessen grew quiet, and she knew his anger had subsided a little.

It is the creed that governs the life of every Jedi and every aspiring Jedi like myself in the Order. I have abided by those laws for almost seventeen years of my life with little effort, Anessen. To live by them is second nature for me. Please don’t try to sway me from my goal of becoming a master someday. I would like a Padawan of my own in the future, you know. And if anything happens here that I would regret, then that guilt would ruin me, and I would leave the Order because I know I would not become a Jedi Master with guilt hanging over my head for the rest of my life. I could not go on with the knowledge that I had broken the Code.

Anessen was quiet, his anger nearly gone now. She felt from him the same aura that she had gotten to know for the past five days.

So the Jedi are forbidden to… love.

Yes. We are also forbidden to form any close relationships with anyone as well. The strongest bond a Jedi will ever feel is the relationship between a Master and his or her Padawan. But when time comes for either of them to leave, a true Jedi will not despair.

Anessen stood up too, looking at her with a new fire kindled in his eyes. You did not tell me that the Jedi were cold and devoid of all emotion. That is no way to live, Adai. If you cannot love, you are already halfway dead.

Adai, for the first time since she could remember, could not for the life of her, hold his gaze any longer. After a moment, she felt a hand under her chin, and then, there was warm breath on her cheek. But it was over as quickly as it had begun, and Adai found herself shaking, her mind reeling.

Anessen had just kissed her on the lips.

The Padawan touched her fingertips to her bottom lip, and felt where his mouth had so passionately, angrily, frustratingly touched her. It was a quite a mix of chemicals that flooded her brain just then. The feeling was so alien, and frankly, she didn’t know what to think, save for one thing:

She had broken the Code.

Adai stepped away from Anessen, her face set in a calm expression, and she looked at him. Looked at him truly for the first time. She noticed his dark, mildly arched eyebrows, his stormy blue eyes, the way the sun reflected off of a fiery red hair in the sea of dark, dark brown. She noticed his strong jawline, and his strong, sinewy form. She noticed his pointed ears.

I had to do that. And I will not apologize for it, either.

Anessen, how old are you?

I’ve seen twenty-eight winters in my life. Why?

Adai staggered backward again, at the thought that this… this young man that she had taken to cavorting with was no young man at all! In fact, he was nearly twice her age!

All of the variables were taking a toll on her mind. She couldn’t handle this situation right now. She needed to calm down; she needed to meditate. And most of all, she needed to get away from Anessen.

The Padawan turned away from him and jogged in the opposite direction.

“Adai! Feith!” he called after her.

Adai knew he was running after her. She nimbly ran through the trees, through shrubs, parting them with the Force so she could slip through, then entwining them so that he could not get through. He was slowing as he struggled to keep up, though still called after her.

She knew she had just taken that knife in his gut and twisted it around.

But he deserved it for what he made her do. He made her break the Code. The Code. The Code that every Jedi has to follow.

“ADAI!” he shouted from far behind. Her name was followed by more words that she couldn’t understand. It only took him a moment before he she felt him in her mind, and she threw her shields up, and kept jogging.

After what seemed like an eternity, she stopped running near a gulch. The shadows on the ground were long, and as she looked up to the tall, snowy mountains, she saw that the last rays of the sun were shining over the peaks.

Her breathing came labored, but she climbed the slope to the top of the gully, and sat down. The only way she was going to sort through this was by avoiding it altogether. It was about time she consulted her midichlorians again.

She had to get off this planet for sure now. That’s it. Adai was going to go back to her crash site tomorrow, and no one –not even Anessen this time- would be able to stop her.