dis·may v. 1. To destroy the courage or resolution of by exciting dread or apprehension.

The Padawan was jolted awake from her false peace by a voice from about fifty yards away. She slowly opened her eyes, her mind still drowsy from the meditation, but she soon snapped back to reality.

Leave me be, Anessen! She shouted at him with her mind. The man –no longer was he young to her anymore- halted in the gully below her, obviously out of breath.

I don’t understand! He thought, throwing his arms up in despair and defeat. I have done nothing to cause you harm! I have only showed you kindness, and in turn you run from me. Code or no Code, any good woman would not have twisted out the heart of the one that cares for her.

Adai flinched. She stood up and looked down at him. Please, she thought. Let me alone. I need to rest. I need to think about all of this alone.

No, he thought back sternly, and leapt up to the ledge of earth that she stood on. He advanced. I would prefer to think it through with you.

Don’t you think you’re being a little overbearing? She thought, and took a step back as he took one forward.

Anessen stopped and raised his eyebrows. Overbearing? Not I! It seems as though passivity does not work for you, so you have forced me to resort to a more aggressive manner if I want information out of you. Trust me, Adai Seth, what I would give so that I did not have to behave like this! But how else would I understand you?

The Padawan stood her ground, and dropped her gaze. Jedi did not play evasive games like this. Jedi were direct. I already told you, Anessen. I cannot break the Code. She looked directly at him. And not an hour ago did you force upon me to halfway break a law!

It was a kiss! I kissed you, you did not kiss me. Are your laws so fickle that you cannot even be looked at by another without violating your creed?

Perhaps Anessen was right. Was she overreacting? Have Jedi ever been expelled from the Order simply for being kissed by someone else? She did not think so. But perhaps that wasn’t the real reason why she found the entire situation to be unsavory. Perhaps that kiss was not completely one-sided…

It was nearly dark out, and Anessen’s form in front of her was but a light shape amid the deep dusk that penetrated the forest. As she glanced around, something seemed amiss.

Then suddenly it hit her.

It hit her like a hideous, painful wave. Adai staggered forward and put her hand on her chest. She dropped to the ground, groaning. Thousands of images flooded her mind at such a pace that she couldn’t comprehend any of them. She heard cries, and she heard laser fire.

“Adai!” Anessen cried out, and dropped to the ground next to her trembling, shuddering form in the dirt. He picked her up and set her in his lap. He was speaking at a million miles an hour, then remembered to think to her. Adai! Are you alright? What happened you pain are alright fell worried care aid return thing I can do?

Adai just shivered in his embrace, quite unsure of what invisible force had knocked the wind from her lungs, and made her blood run cold. She suddenly felt depressed, hopeless, and disgusted. And invisible force knocked… invisible… force… the Force.

The Force!

Oh dear Gods, the Force!

What was happening?

She slowed the images in her mind and concentrated on them. The cries of pain and death were as loud and pronounced as they were moments earlier, but she could see the images.

She saw clones and Troopers.

She saw hooded forms.

She saw lights flashing, sabers igniting.

She saw the robed forms falling to the ground.

The clones remained.

She vaguely felt someone holding her, but she couldn’t hear their words in her mind. The horrific sounds were still too real.

Adai just shivered with her eyes wide open and unblinking.

“A disturbance…” she murmured.

“Mani?” The elf said.

“In the Force…”

Adai sniffed and recovered from her bout. She clung to wrinkles of fabric, and arms encircled her. Bringing her close. Comforting. Jedi had a habit of using physical contact to comfort.

Adai, what happened just now?

The girl swallowed. I don’t know. Something terrible has happened.

The elf just held her near.

I will look after you.

Adai closed her eyes, almost enjoying the sensation of being held. But she abruptly sat up and removed herself from Anessen’s embrace.

What is the matter?

I have to go.

What? Anessen stood up.

I have to leave. Tonight. I have to get back to my ship and see if R4 can maintenance it.

Adai, I don’t understand.

You have to let me go.

I cannot! You are not well. You need to sleep. I admit that I have only added to your sorrow, but please! You should not leave now. You must take a rest. The elf reached out to grab her hand, but she pulled away.

No, Anessen. I have to leave.

She couldn’t see his eyes, but she knew they were pleading her not to leave him. What if she… him… together… No. Adai shook her head. She had to go alone. She began to talk westward.

What of your things?

I have nothing here but the clothes on my back and the equipment in my belt.

Anessen was silent as she stalked off. The Padawan was almost surprised at how little he protested her leaving suddenly. Her heart was still racing from the great disturbance, and her mind was trembling as she walked off into the night. She looked back and saw Anessen standing there before breaking into a jog.

Wait!

Adai kept at her pace, but the Elf easily caught up to her in a few seconds.

Please! You can’t leave.

Why. Because I’m insane and I can’t defend myself?

Please stay for me.

Adai swallowed and pressed on, driving the knife in a little deeper. Her jog sped up into a sprint. She had to get away from him. She had to escape him before she would be caught up in his emotional mess, and then there she would never be able to look at the Code the same way again.

And so it was that he was chasing after her again. Her agility and speed was quite a match for the elf, as she dodged trees and nimbly leapt over boulders, covering ground very quickly. Soon, she came to the edge of Caras Galadhon, and paused for only a moment before running out into the wide open that would bring her to the adjacent forest’s edge.

“Adai!”

She ignored him, pushing the knife in a little deeper. Adai refused to look over her shoulder, though she knew he was only a few yards behind. She continued to run for a few minutes, nearly reaching the forest when she barely anticipated Anessen’s next move, and paid for it when she was knocked to the ground by a solid body. Had he tackled her?

I will NOT let you go. If you pass into these woods, my father will find you and have you imprisoned!

Get off me!

He might hurt you Adai. I would hate to think what he would do to you! He would believe you are trying to escape Lorien and wait for the Fellowship to continue when they are removed from the safety of this forest!

GET OFF ME!

Anessen let out a cry when she lifted him from her and hoisted him off to the side. The girl was breathing heavily and lay down on the grass to catch her breath.

What do I have to do to make you let me go?

My father would have you chained like a dog if he found you out here. I don’t want to let you go, Adai, but you know that already. The only way that you will make it safely back to the mountains is if you killed my father and all of his men.

If it means getting home, then I’m afraid I might have to do that.

Anessen jumped up. What? You would not dare think such a thing!

I would.

I do not want to have to incapacitate you, Adai. Please do not make me resort to that!

And I didn’t want to have to resort to this. But if it means me getting back to the ship…

The girl closed her eyes and inhaled, feeling the Force flow through her. She shot out her hand at Anessen and he flew back, hitting the ground ten feet away from where he stood.

Adai bolted into the cover of the trees.

She was getting closer now. The mountains were still only shadowy forms against the starry sky, against Varda’s stars. She would reach it by morning if she could run all night.

What was she doing? How did things come to this? Anessen was chasing after her because he didn’t want her to leave him, and he didn’t want his father to harm her… but why was she resisting so adamantly? So violently? The disturbance she felt earlier… she felt even more alone now than she did before it. She felt needed. She felt sought out. She was still feeling the aftermath of it too.

She needed to fix her ship.

She needed to get off this planet.

She needed to get back to Coruscant and the Temple and find out what was going on.

Find out why she felt what she did, and what it meant.

She felt desperate.

Adai had probably run a quarter of a mile or so into the forest before she felt presences. Sentient presences.

Anessen’s father and his Watch.

The Padawan slowed to a brisk walk, letting her body rest. It was a while before she felt that she was drawing nearer to them. Again, they were in the trees. Watching. Listening. This time they wouldn’t get her, though.

She snuck through the forest floor, making an extra effort of focusing on the forest guards. About a mile in or so, she knew they were very close. She stopped and heard their hushed voices once again. But as she concentrated more, she felt something else too…

Shit.

It was Anessen.

It was difficult to navigate the forest floor in the near pitch darkness, and she felt compelled to ignite her saber to light the way. But she couldn’t. She would be seen. Adai kept going through the forest. It may have been another five minutes of walking or so before she really felt them near. They were in the trees almost directly above her.

She crept silently through the grass and fallen leaves. Adai looked up through the trees and saw the white orb of a full moon mildly lighting the sky and black foliage above. There were small chrips here and there that filled the silent air, and some unknown bird called out in the distance. The Padawan could see the flats high above. She saw their angular shapes in the trees. Did they know she was there? No.

Not yet at least.

Adai licked her lips and looked to the mountains, knowing that the little Jedi starfighter and astrodroid were still there in the snow, waiting for her.

The Padawan kept going. She was beneath them now, nearly out from under their noses. If she had been trained to manipulate the weak-minded yet, then it would make this task much easier.

Oh Force, so close…

And then it happened.

It was a single little crunch of leaves under her boot.

The Padawan froze, and felt eyes on her. They heard her as if it were a gunshot. For a few terrifying moments, the only noise she could hear was the beating of her heart. Did they hear it too?

The voices were getting louder.

Adai bolted.

She sprinted as fast as she could towards the mountains as they fired their sharp, metal-tipped sticks at her. She ran in a zig-zag fashion to increase her chances of avoiding getting hit, but when she heart a shout in a familiar voice she knew it was all over.

“Lle!” was all she understood from the Elf that stormed over to her. Adai saw that there were four others behind him, each aiming their weapons at her. He was speaking to her, but she didn’t understand. She read him like an open book, though. He was proud that he had found her out here, and he was glad that now he would have a reason to imprison her. He knew she was following the Fellowship, that she planned on killing them once they left Lorien, and that she planned to return the Ring to Sauron.

This man was crazy! She wanted no such thing!

The five of them were advancing on her, and Anessen’s father pulled out his weapon, pointing it at her throat as he stood, a tall menacing silhouette, in front of Adai.

“Atar!” came from behind the group. Adai’s aggressor spun around angrily, and she took the opportunity to look over his shoulder to peer into the dark forest. She saw a shape running towards them.

“Anessen?” she murmured.

Anessen’s father looked her direction and held his sword dangerously close to her throat. He turned back towards his son.

“Lle vara he?” he demanded of his son when Anessen halted in front of him and was catching his breath.

“Naa,” the son said. Then, between breaths: “Uuma lle crona he! Re merna nan’ a’ waan imya!”

Was Anessen defending her? After all that she had just done to him?

“Lle merna ost sina loki? Sina… tuar en’ Tel’Goth?” The sword moved and Adai had to tilt her head a little upwards and backwards to avoid being cut.

“Tuar en’ Tel’Goth!” Anessen shouted suddenly. “He naa n’uma di’thang a’ Tel’Korma en’ val!”

Adai took her single opportunity to escape. She ignited her saber and knocked her attacker’s sword from his hand, flinging it several yards away. The other watchmen gasped and fired their weapons at her, but she back flipped into the air and evaded them all, then swung her saber and cut their bows in half, rendering them useless. Cries and shouts of surprise and boiling anger rose from the small group, and Adai broke into a sprint as they brandished long knives and ran after her.

What are you doing! Anessen’s voice sounded loudly in her head. He will kill you now!

Tell them to leave me alone and I won’t harm them further!

I tried! He refuses to heed my word!

The young Padawan didn’t fight tem further but ran with her saber still in her hand, looking for somewhere to hide, or to get her out of this mess. She decided to leap up into a tree, one that she thought would be difficult for them to climb under the circumstances, and ascended until she came to the canopy of the tree.

Two watchmen followed her, but she beat them down with her saber, and even successfully burned one on the back of the hand. They eventually retreated.

“Lemba lye, Anessen. Ta nuva sana ann tenna’ ten’ he a’ tundu.” The elf chuckled darkly.

He’s telling me to leave, because it will take a long time for you to come down.

Adai shivered. She didn’t much like being cornered.

I don’t know what to do to help you.

Then take your father’s advice and go. I’ll take care of this. I need to get back home. They need me there.

I will not leave you here with my father!

GO, ANESSEN.

She saw him down at the base of the tree, looking up at her. He was just a pale shape among the blackness.

I will never see you again, will I.

I don’t think so. I’ll make sure your father doesn’t kill me. I don’t want you to hate him anymore than you do already, if at all.

Adai, I love you.

I know.

Anessen stepped back from the tree and looked one last time at her before running off in the direction of the tree-city once again. Adai felt a pang of guilt at having to do this. But it was necessary.