2/2
As he released himself into Jack’s willing tunnel, Legolas draped forward and panted into Jack’s open mouth. “So, dear Jack, are you still whole? Have I split you in two, my Captain?”
A surprisingly satisfied Jack felt like he might never cease smiling. “Mmm, not at all, luv. Instead I think you might have made me reconsider my true place in life, as it where. Tell me, are there more absolute beauties like you wandering about in your forest?”
After he tossed his hair back off his face, Legolas offered Jack a coy smile. “There are many tall blondes like myself, especially in Mirkwood. We are quite a fair race, even for Elves.”
When his lust-struck heart ceased racing like a young pickpocket in flight, Jack instantly fantasized about being surrounded by a harem of tall, beautiful blondes. Ahh, bloody hell, now that certainly beat hanging from the gallows.
During his waking wet dream, Jack noticed a sudden odd glow infecting the sultry air. Now that didn’t look normal. A startled Jack watched as Legolas’ body stiffened and straightened up in anticipation. Ooo, look at how the blazing tropical sun outlined the Elf’s pale, damp flesh. Jack decided he had never in his long career seen anything lovelier, well, excepting a big pile of diamonds. But it was a close competition.
A faint voice sounded from the blue glow. “Legolas? Can you hear me? I... can sense you. Call out to me!”
Gasping in joy Legolas responded. “Mithrandir! Yes, my dear friend, I am here in some strange world not my own! Can you bring me back?”
The hoarse voice now sounded excited. “Let me... yes, I can sense you now! I can bring you back over.”
After he reached over and snatched up his bow and quiver, Legolas suddenly smiled down at the confused Jack. Yes, he thought this pretty human would be a fine addition to Mirkwood. And beside, this interesting warrior would drive his overbearing Father wild! “My Jack, care to come visit my world and escape this vile place?”
Bloody hell, what a question! Jack swallowed deeply and set his mind to the task. All right, loose his precious Pearl, and his treasure, yet avoid possible death. Remain with this astonishingly beautiful Elf who possessed quite a way with his long, stiff lance. Travel to a new world where no one knew he was a pirate nor wanted him dead. Interesting. Have a lovely Prince for a boyfriend.
That last thought decided it. Ha, surely a Prince owned plenty of exotic jewels and glistening baubles, right? Most comforting.
As he impulsively made his decision, Jack’s tanned hands reached up and clutched Legolas’ firm body close. “All ashore that’s going ashore! Cast off, luv! I’m holding fast!” Jack’s confused eyes sensed the blue glow becoming brighter.
“Mithrandir! Can you bring two through?”
“What? But... all right.”
Jack held tight and winced at the odd pressure. He suddenly felt like his ears might spew blood. Gaaaahhh! There was a terrible blast, a blinding silvery flash then he felt himself lying on what felt like a bed of damp leaves. Blinking in amazement Jack realized that his Elf’s cock still embedded inside his ass. This randy beauty definitely didn’t know when to quit!
When Jack looked up, he saw that a tall old man with a tangled gray beard, a long flowing robe and a pointed hat leaning down examining them both. Now that was some strange costume.
The old one gasped in alarm. “Legolas! What is the meaning of this? I...”
A still confused Jack could do nothing but blink and shrug. Luckily his Elven beauty recovered much faster. “Mithrandir, how wonderful, all is well now. This is Captain Jack Sparrow, a brave warrior from that world I tumbled into so abruptly. He was kind enough to, erm, comfort me during my brief but unnerving stay.”
Jack blinked again and grinned in agreement. Yes, this pretty lad had a right clever way with his words.
Unfortunately this Mithrandir character sounded far less than delighted. “Is that what you call it then? By the Valar, Legolas, you weren’t gone all that long and you managed to pick up another human stray?”
Jack stiffened and held up his two pointer fingers in supreme insult. Here now, this old ruffian needed to learn a thing or two about manners. “Excuse me, my good sir, I am not a stray. I am, if you please, Captain Jack Sparrow, late of Tortuga and now of... Mirkwood?”
The old man sneered insultingly at Jack and waved a dismissive hand his way. “Of course you are, you opportunistic human. Now be still.” Mithrandir shook his head and returned his gaze to Legolas. Mmm, the fair Elf’s nudity made it hard for the old wizard to concentrate. “First off, Prince, I must apologize for what happened to you. I was out here setting experimental time portals to dismiss those dastardly spiders and just as I opened one you came dashing through the forest. Luckily since you wisely stayed where you entered that odd place I was able to locate you.”
The nerve of this old coot! Jack did not like being insulted like he was a common, money-grubbing strumpet. Frowning in anger Jack opened his lips for a pithy retort when Legolas gently shook his head and pressed his lips to Jack’s frown. Jack relaxed and decided to shut up.
After kissing Jack’s frown away, Legolas nodded up at Mithrandir. “Yes, old friend, I thought it best not to leave that area. But I was fated to go there because now I have met dear, brave Jack!” Legolas’ twirled his long fingers in Jack’s chin braids. Jack smiled in delight.
Mithrandir tapped his staff against Legolas’ bare buttocks and let his voice turn condescending. This wild young Elf just never learned! “Well, Legolas, I think it’s time for you to stop meeting this Jack creature so intimately and release him. You know your Father isn’t going...”
As he hissed in warning, Legolas narrowed his wide eyes. Jack felt Legolas’ long fingers tense against his braids. “To be happy about hearing that his only son was whisked off to another dangerous world because of someone’s silly spell?”
Ooo. Jack raised his brows and mockingly mouthed a silent whistle. Bloody hell, this beauty was a tough one.
Mithrandir sputtered in rage. “Legolas, it was an accident! I certainly meant you no harm! You charged into my spell before I could warn you.”
After Legolas petulantly tossed his long golden mane he shook his head in rebuke. He wanted his handsome new human lover and fussy old Mithrandir wasn’t spoiling things for him. “Maybe so but it still happened. So before you go telling my Father that I appeared embracing Jack, I want you to consider this angle; because of your spell Jack stumbled through from his world to here. He arrived just in time to help save me from a cruel spider attack for which I am eternally grateful. Therefore I am in his debt and no one, and I mean no one, may speak against him.”
Jack grinned in sheer admiration. He liked this Elf’s slick fashion. Although he seemed a goody-goody, Legolas had his sly merits. Jack couldn’t resist winking. “Savvy, Mithrandir? I saved the day, as it were.”
The furious wizard almost slammed his staff into this impertinent human’s skull. Although with all that tangled hair he’d probably not feel a thing. This human looked messier than Aragorn and that took some doing. “You dare to...”
Legolas regally tossed his thick hair again and spoke in an icy tone.
“Mithrandir, old friend, I did say no one.”
Shaking his staff in anger Mithrandir glared at the Elf prince. “You are truly your Father’s son, regal one. Very well. Agreed.”
“So good to hear that we have an accord.” Jack winked and kissed Legolas. “Thanks, luv.”
Legolas laughed in sexy satisfaction. “Now you can stay with me!”
As he gazed into this gorgeous Elf’s face, Jack mentally waved goodbye to the Pearl and his mates. Well, he did always appreciate new horizons but he never quite anticipated finding them in an utterly different world!
Now if only that sour old man would stop glaring at him. Jack simply didn’t trust the nasty coot but he sincerely hoped he had sent a spider or two directly onto the Pearl. Wouldn’t that give old bulbous-nosed Barbossa a start?
As the two new companions untangled themselves from each other, they never saw Mithrandir wave his staff and point directly at Jack’s waist. After muttering a few words he smiled in triumph. Welcome to Middle Earth, Jack Sparrow. Welcome to magic.
When they finally stood, Legolas gasped in dismay. “Mithrandir, may I borrow your cloak?”
“Of course, Legolas.”
A watching Jack didn’t appreciate the old man’s sugary sweet smile. His eyes narrowed in suspicion. Now what was that all about? What was he up to now?
Legolas draped the large cloak over their bodies and hugged Jack close with his right arm. He gestured with his quiver. “Dear Jack, before we meet Father we’ll stop and fetch clothes from my room. I am sure mine shall fit you; we are built much alike. Aii, if we don’t then Father might wonder why we’re in such a naked state!”
Jack rolled his eyes in silent agreement. Aye, it would not be wise to meet your new lover’s father while stark naked. Even bold Jack wouldn’t go that far.
After meeting Legolas’ right cranky although surprisingly handsome and youthful Father and being given a fast tour of his new home, Jack found himself embedded in Legolas’ large bed. Aye, he had gained himself one insatiable Elf! Jack discovered he took to his new place in life with merry abandon. He didn’t know if he had always lusted after being dominated by a male or if this beautiful Elf simply owned an exceptionally talented cock. Whatever the case, once again Jack found himself panting in pleasure.
After a long delightful episode of sweaty, hot slap and tickle, Legolas slowly nuzzled Jack’s neck. His melodic voice dropped in shame. “Dear Jack, oh my brave warrior, I hope you don’t think less of me for how I... reconstructed the truth. But I feared that Mithrandir might ruin our arrival.”
Jack’s fingers playfully tugged on a thin golden braid. “Legolas, luv, all’s fair in love and war. You did as you saw fit and that sits well with me.”
“You do have an odd way with words, my new lover.” Legolas’ next long kiss almost suffocated Jack.
As he gasped for breath, the pirate prayed he could keep up with this wild young beauty.
Meanwhile...
Elizabeth finished her third annoyed march around the small island and huffed in pure fury. How had that miscreant escaped without a boat? Why had he left his battered clothing? And why were there odd green suede garments and a pair of strange boots resting on the beach? The only footsteps the governor’s daughter could find were her own and Jack’s, and they led here then halted. Yet there did seem to be signs of a struggle; the white sand looked deeply rutted and indented. How completely puzzling!
Just then a ship appeared on the horizon. Elizabeth’s trained eyes recognized the sails. Hurrah, rescue at last! Enough worrying about that d-d-ddamned filthy Jack Sparrow. Good riddance!
As she stepped forward, a dull metallic glint caught Elizabeth’s keen eye. Leaning down she plucked the battered compass from beside Jack’s filthy pantaloons. Yes! Now she could find her beloved Will! She knew this strange device could take her back to him.
All right, fine, once they were both safe she’d drink a little rum to Jack’s memory. But only a sip.
Vile drink. She feared she’d never remove the wretched taste from her horrified tongue. Perhaps if she could kiss her handsome Will, the foul taste might fade away.
Elizabeth smiled in virginal bliss and sat to wait for her ship to come in.
THREE MONTHS LATER
A queasy Jack near fell from Legolas’ wide bed and barely made it to the bathroom. After spitting up in the chamber pot, he held his belly and frowned. All right, this was like no sickness he had ever experienced. During the past week Jack awoke, got sick but then he felt fine for the remainder of the day. But there were other weird things... he always felt hungry. Plus his belly felt odd. When Jack cautiously peered into the mirror yesterday he wondered why his lean waist had grown paunchy. The pirate’s vanity hated to admit it, but his belly looked bigger.
Did Jack have a tumor? Did he have... something nasty picked up from the tropics? From drinking bad rum? Aside from the sickness, Jack truly felt fine! After all, these past three months had been filled with sheer romantic bliss. Although Legolas’ Father didn’t like Jack much, he tolerated Jack’s new place in the palace. Jack received the distinct impression that sour King Thranduil would rather see his son with one beau instead of many. It appeared that someone had been a bit of an easy piece, as it were. Since the determined to have Jack remain Legolas constantly told everyone that Jack was a brave warrior, the other Elves treated him well.
Their days were filled with sword fighting, archery practice, outings on the dark river and wet, hot sex. Regarding swordplay his lovely Legolas possessed natural skill and amazingly quick reflexes but old Jack taught him the proper footwork. In turn his beautiful Elf adored teaching Jack bow skills... anything that involved Legolas holding him close suited Jack fine.
Jack did miss his sea-going ways, so he indulged in taking a small vessel for jaunts along the unoriginally named Forest River. Of course Legolas came along because he worried about Jack being alone on the river; he feared Jack might end up in the Enchanted River and that would be wicked. Jack thought his Legolas wasn’t the most competent first mate, but he was the damned sexiest.
And the sex... well, the frequent, intoxicatingly wicked sex made Jack wonder if he had arrived in some weird leafy Heaven. Maybe he was dead. If so, then thank you very much for this wildly lusty afterworld.
So it wasn’t as if Jack sat around doing nothing but eating. His middle shouldn’t be growing rounded. Even as he fretted, Jack leaned over and contributed more bile to the pot. Bloody hell, he hadn’t felt this vile since his drunken weekend at that one Jamaican brothel!
Warm, firm hands suddenly caressed his spasming shoulders. “Oh my darling Jack, so you come from a place where the males are like me! No wonder you felt worried about me making love to you.”
Jack turned his head and slowly blinked up at his Legolas. Eh? “Whatever are you talking about, luv?”
“You must be pregnant! I’ve noticed you getting ill in the mornings plus your belly has developed the most adorable little swell. We’ve created a baby in you!”
Jack’s dark brown eyes performed their finest bulge yet. Only Legolas’ quick hands prevented the startled pirate from falling face-first into the chamber pot.
Nnnngggh. Go away. Ug. Nasty bad smell. Smelled like the inside of a pirate’s old leather boot. Urrgh...
Jack blinked and stared up into Legolas’ concerned face. His beautiful Elf instantly questioned him. “My darling Jack, are you all right? Is this something serious? Are you in pain? I have called the healer so...”
Jack’s frantic mind raced and jumped like a bee-stung horse during a royal tournament. “Legolas, you can get pregnant?”
Legolas casually shrugged as if the notion wasn’t the craziest thing ever revealed to listening ears. “Well, we wood Elves can. It’s why I like to be the aggressor when I make love to a male. My strict Father certainly wouldn’t be pleased if I became pregnant. But I feel so excited for you! Dear Jack, you’re going to have our baby!”
A confounded Jack couldn’t halt his next hard words. “Luv, excuse me, but you must be right out of your bleedin’ mind. Males do not become pregnant. No, excuse me, I do not come from a strange, unnatural place where men become pregnant. Trust me, dearie, the women do all the brat breeding. So yes, my dear Legolas, you must be utterly, absolutely, and indisputably daft. You are mad.”
Instead of becoming insulted, a glowing in joy Legolas patted Jack’s slight belly and tenderly kissed his cheek. “Nonsense, my precious, I know better. Now let’s get you off of this cold tile floor. I am sure it isn’t good for you and the baby. Come on, darling, stand up, there’s my wonderful mother to be.”
For the first time since they had met, Jack almost punched Legolas right in his pert nose. He instantly felt bad for his nasty old urge. He almost wanted to cry.
Oh no. That wasn’t right. Not at all. Captain Jack Sparrow did not cry. But then again nor did he get pregnant, or so he thought. This just couldn’t be happening to him!
After the trying not to laugh healer left the bedroom, a dazed Jack moaned and shook his head. “Legolas, darlin’, I just can’t comprehend this bizarre event. How can I be pregnant? Granted you’ve explored just about every inch of my eager body with your long, loving lance but still...”
As he stroked Jack’s black hair, Legolas suddenly looked excited. “Oh my darling, perhaps something happened to you during our return! Mithrandir’s sorcery could have changed you!”
Well wasn’t that just bonny? An out of sorts Jack still felt like he wanted to scream, curse and run in wild circles. “Well, my beauty, what ever it is it’s not natural. I am not supposed to grow a baby in me!”
As he uttered a compassionate little moan, Legolas embraced Jack close and nearly choked him with lush kisses. Oh no, his poor darling must think Legolas didn’t respect him anymore! “It’s all right, my Jack, I don’t think any less of you for being in such a fertile condition. Instead I feel so happy and excited! I shall shower you with love and do everything I can to make you happy. Fear not, darling, I shall be your devoted mate in every single way.”
Jack still pouted then a wicked smile suddenly crossed his lips. “You’ll give me back rubs, foot rubs and belly rubs?”
“Of course I shall.”
“You’ll pay special attention to my dear old lance?”
“I shall worship your manly lance as much as needed.” Legolas leaned down and pressed his moist lips against Jack’s limp cock. Jack moaned and ran his fingers through Legolas’ thick hair. As he nuzzled slowly, Legolas whispered against Jack’s stiffening flesh. “Shall I begin now?”
“Suit yourself, luv.”
In seconds the talented Legolas had Jack sprawled on the bed gasping in mindless pleasure.
Bloody hell, maybe being pregnant wasn’t going to be so bad.
FIVE MONTHS LATER:
“Legolas?”
The lovely Elf looked up from reading his book. He had decided to spend his afternoon stretched out alongside Jack on the plush velvet couch. Legolas smiled; he knew by the charming little smile on Jack’s lips that his mate wanted something. “Yes, my precious Jack?”
“Problem to report, luv. We’ve run out of these delicious honey balls.”
Legolas’ shimmering eyes widened in playful distress. “Oh no! My darling, you relax and I shall fetch you more.”
Jack waved his twitching fingers against Legolas’ smooth cheek. “And more wine too. Pretty please? I know I’m not supposed to over indulge but... just a bit?”
“Anything you want, my darling. And when I return I shall rub your feet. Your poor toes look puffy today.” Before he left Legolas leaned down and pressed his lips against Jack’s round, silk-covered belly. His melodic voice turned husky with sexy promise. “And then perhaps I can pay attention to a few other special places.”
After watching Legolas’ stunning buttocks disappear from the room, Jack grinned and rested back. His beautiful Elf treated him like a king. Blazes, he felt like a fat, baby-swollen king.
Aye, Jack could get used to this new life. He had already become used to being so completely in love with a male. Hell, Jack had never truly been in love with anyone before now, so Legolas had done the near impossible. Granted Jack wasn’t used to his own mood swings, his dramatic weight gain or the very concept of bringing up a child, but he could adapt. Even if Jack mucked things up, he knew that his devoted Legolas was going to be a brilliant parent. Jack had never met a more loving creature.
Pirate Captain Jack Sparrow, mother to be. If that wasn’t the most interesting and hilarious thing that he had ever heard then... well, hold on, it positively was the most interesting and hilarious thing in this strange place called Middle Earth or on any old Earth.
As he patted his hard, protruding belly Jack wondered if they were going to have a little boy or a girl. If they had a little boy then the sentimental Jack was definitely naming him William. After all, in a way he had young Mr. Turner to thank for this brave new life.
And if a wee lass battled her way from Jack’s big belly then... well, what else but Elizabeth? Only any daughter of Captain Jack Sparrow would not grow up to be a rum-burning, dangerously sly wench. Oh no. Here she would be a warrior. She’d be able to whip any rascally scalawag who looked at her wrong.
Whatever the case, they could always try for another wee one.
Jack blinked and slowly shook his head. Had he gone completely stark, raving daft? Carry another baby?
His bonny Legolas chose that moment to return and smile down at Jack in his sinfully adoring fashion. “Here we are... and here I am, my dear, sweet lover.” After Legolas placed the treats and wine within Jack’s easy reach, the tall Prince sensuously ran his strong hands over Jack’s massively curved belly. He slowly pulled down Jack’s loose leggings. “I decided the foot rub can come second... something else comes first... and hopefully someone else.” Playfully licking his full lips Legolas ducked his golden head down. Soft hair swept across Jack’s thighs. Warm lips and a long, wet tongue performed an intricate act designed to near kill a man with overwhelming passion.
Hnnnghhn mmm ohhh. Yes, Jack had gone mad... over his fair, enchanting Elf.
Come on then, large families were fun.
A surprisingly satisfied Jack felt like he might never cease smiling. “Mmm, not at all, luv. Instead I think you might have made me reconsider my true place in life, as it where. Tell me, are there more absolute beauties like you wandering about in your forest?”
After he tossed his hair back off his face, Legolas offered Jack a coy smile. “There are many tall blondes like myself, especially in Mirkwood. We are quite a fair race, even for Elves.”
When his lust-struck heart ceased racing like a young pickpocket in flight, Jack instantly fantasized about being surrounded by a harem of tall, beautiful blondes. Ahh, bloody hell, now that certainly beat hanging from the gallows.
During his waking wet dream, Jack noticed a sudden odd glow infecting the sultry air. Now that didn’t look normal. A startled Jack watched as Legolas’ body stiffened and straightened up in anticipation. Ooo, look at how the blazing tropical sun outlined the Elf’s pale, damp flesh. Jack decided he had never in his long career seen anything lovelier, well, excepting a big pile of diamonds. But it was a close competition.
A faint voice sounded from the blue glow. “Legolas? Can you hear me? I... can sense you. Call out to me!”
Gasping in joy Legolas responded. “Mithrandir! Yes, my dear friend, I am here in some strange world not my own! Can you bring me back?”
The hoarse voice now sounded excited. “Let me... yes, I can sense you now! I can bring you back over.”
After he reached over and snatched up his bow and quiver, Legolas suddenly smiled down at the confused Jack. Yes, he thought this pretty human would be a fine addition to Mirkwood. And beside, this interesting warrior would drive his overbearing Father wild! “My Jack, care to come visit my world and escape this vile place?”
Bloody hell, what a question! Jack swallowed deeply and set his mind to the task. All right, loose his precious Pearl, and his treasure, yet avoid possible death. Remain with this astonishingly beautiful Elf who possessed quite a way with his long, stiff lance. Travel to a new world where no one knew he was a pirate nor wanted him dead. Interesting. Have a lovely Prince for a boyfriend.
That last thought decided it. Ha, surely a Prince owned plenty of exotic jewels and glistening baubles, right? Most comforting.
As he impulsively made his decision, Jack’s tanned hands reached up and clutched Legolas’ firm body close. “All ashore that’s going ashore! Cast off, luv! I’m holding fast!” Jack’s confused eyes sensed the blue glow becoming brighter.
“Mithrandir! Can you bring two through?”
“What? But... all right.”
Jack held tight and winced at the odd pressure. He suddenly felt like his ears might spew blood. Gaaaahhh! There was a terrible blast, a blinding silvery flash then he felt himself lying on what felt like a bed of damp leaves. Blinking in amazement Jack realized that his Elf’s cock still embedded inside his ass. This randy beauty definitely didn’t know when to quit!
When Jack looked up, he saw that a tall old man with a tangled gray beard, a long flowing robe and a pointed hat leaning down examining them both. Now that was some strange costume.
The old one gasped in alarm. “Legolas! What is the meaning of this? I...”
A still confused Jack could do nothing but blink and shrug. Luckily his Elven beauty recovered much faster. “Mithrandir, how wonderful, all is well now. This is Captain Jack Sparrow, a brave warrior from that world I tumbled into so abruptly. He was kind enough to, erm, comfort me during my brief but unnerving stay.”
Jack blinked again and grinned in agreement. Yes, this pretty lad had a right clever way with his words.
Unfortunately this Mithrandir character sounded far less than delighted. “Is that what you call it then? By the Valar, Legolas, you weren’t gone all that long and you managed to pick up another human stray?”
Jack stiffened and held up his two pointer fingers in supreme insult. Here now, this old ruffian needed to learn a thing or two about manners. “Excuse me, my good sir, I am not a stray. I am, if you please, Captain Jack Sparrow, late of Tortuga and now of... Mirkwood?”
The old man sneered insultingly at Jack and waved a dismissive hand his way. “Of course you are, you opportunistic human. Now be still.” Mithrandir shook his head and returned his gaze to Legolas. Mmm, the fair Elf’s nudity made it hard for the old wizard to concentrate. “First off, Prince, I must apologize for what happened to you. I was out here setting experimental time portals to dismiss those dastardly spiders and just as I opened one you came dashing through the forest. Luckily since you wisely stayed where you entered that odd place I was able to locate you.”
The nerve of this old coot! Jack did not like being insulted like he was a common, money-grubbing strumpet. Frowning in anger Jack opened his lips for a pithy retort when Legolas gently shook his head and pressed his lips to Jack’s frown. Jack relaxed and decided to shut up.
After kissing Jack’s frown away, Legolas nodded up at Mithrandir. “Yes, old friend, I thought it best not to leave that area. But I was fated to go there because now I have met dear, brave Jack!” Legolas’ twirled his long fingers in Jack’s chin braids. Jack smiled in delight.
Mithrandir tapped his staff against Legolas’ bare buttocks and let his voice turn condescending. This wild young Elf just never learned! “Well, Legolas, I think it’s time for you to stop meeting this Jack creature so intimately and release him. You know your Father isn’t going...”
As he hissed in warning, Legolas narrowed his wide eyes. Jack felt Legolas’ long fingers tense against his braids. “To be happy about hearing that his only son was whisked off to another dangerous world because of someone’s silly spell?”
Ooo. Jack raised his brows and mockingly mouthed a silent whistle. Bloody hell, this beauty was a tough one.
Mithrandir sputtered in rage. “Legolas, it was an accident! I certainly meant you no harm! You charged into my spell before I could warn you.”
After Legolas petulantly tossed his long golden mane he shook his head in rebuke. He wanted his handsome new human lover and fussy old Mithrandir wasn’t spoiling things for him. “Maybe so but it still happened. So before you go telling my Father that I appeared embracing Jack, I want you to consider this angle; because of your spell Jack stumbled through from his world to here. He arrived just in time to help save me from a cruel spider attack for which I am eternally grateful. Therefore I am in his debt and no one, and I mean no one, may speak against him.”
Jack grinned in sheer admiration. He liked this Elf’s slick fashion. Although he seemed a goody-goody, Legolas had his sly merits. Jack couldn’t resist winking. “Savvy, Mithrandir? I saved the day, as it were.”
The furious wizard almost slammed his staff into this impertinent human’s skull. Although with all that tangled hair he’d probably not feel a thing. This human looked messier than Aragorn and that took some doing. “You dare to...”
Legolas regally tossed his thick hair again and spoke in an icy tone.
“Mithrandir, old friend, I did say no one.”
Shaking his staff in anger Mithrandir glared at the Elf prince. “You are truly your Father’s son, regal one. Very well. Agreed.”
“So good to hear that we have an accord.” Jack winked and kissed Legolas. “Thanks, luv.”
Legolas laughed in sexy satisfaction. “Now you can stay with me!”
As he gazed into this gorgeous Elf’s face, Jack mentally waved goodbye to the Pearl and his mates. Well, he did always appreciate new horizons but he never quite anticipated finding them in an utterly different world!
Now if only that sour old man would stop glaring at him. Jack simply didn’t trust the nasty coot but he sincerely hoped he had sent a spider or two directly onto the Pearl. Wouldn’t that give old bulbous-nosed Barbossa a start?
As the two new companions untangled themselves from each other, they never saw Mithrandir wave his staff and point directly at Jack’s waist. After muttering a few words he smiled in triumph. Welcome to Middle Earth, Jack Sparrow. Welcome to magic.
When they finally stood, Legolas gasped in dismay. “Mithrandir, may I borrow your cloak?”
“Of course, Legolas.”
A watching Jack didn’t appreciate the old man’s sugary sweet smile. His eyes narrowed in suspicion. Now what was that all about? What was he up to now?
Legolas draped the large cloak over their bodies and hugged Jack close with his right arm. He gestured with his quiver. “Dear Jack, before we meet Father we’ll stop and fetch clothes from my room. I am sure mine shall fit you; we are built much alike. Aii, if we don’t then Father might wonder why we’re in such a naked state!”
Jack rolled his eyes in silent agreement. Aye, it would not be wise to meet your new lover’s father while stark naked. Even bold Jack wouldn’t go that far.
After meeting Legolas’ right cranky although surprisingly handsome and youthful Father and being given a fast tour of his new home, Jack found himself embedded in Legolas’ large bed. Aye, he had gained himself one insatiable Elf! Jack discovered he took to his new place in life with merry abandon. He didn’t know if he had always lusted after being dominated by a male or if this beautiful Elf simply owned an exceptionally talented cock. Whatever the case, once again Jack found himself panting in pleasure.
After a long delightful episode of sweaty, hot slap and tickle, Legolas slowly nuzzled Jack’s neck. His melodic voice dropped in shame. “Dear Jack, oh my brave warrior, I hope you don’t think less of me for how I... reconstructed the truth. But I feared that Mithrandir might ruin our arrival.”
Jack’s fingers playfully tugged on a thin golden braid. “Legolas, luv, all’s fair in love and war. You did as you saw fit and that sits well with me.”
“You do have an odd way with words, my new lover.” Legolas’ next long kiss almost suffocated Jack.
As he gasped for breath, the pirate prayed he could keep up with this wild young beauty.
Meanwhile...
Elizabeth finished her third annoyed march around the small island and huffed in pure fury. How had that miscreant escaped without a boat? Why had he left his battered clothing? And why were there odd green suede garments and a pair of strange boots resting on the beach? The only footsteps the governor’s daughter could find were her own and Jack’s, and they led here then halted. Yet there did seem to be signs of a struggle; the white sand looked deeply rutted and indented. How completely puzzling!
Just then a ship appeared on the horizon. Elizabeth’s trained eyes recognized the sails. Hurrah, rescue at last! Enough worrying about that d-d-ddamned filthy Jack Sparrow. Good riddance!
As she stepped forward, a dull metallic glint caught Elizabeth’s keen eye. Leaning down she plucked the battered compass from beside Jack’s filthy pantaloons. Yes! Now she could find her beloved Will! She knew this strange device could take her back to him.
All right, fine, once they were both safe she’d drink a little rum to Jack’s memory. But only a sip.
Vile drink. She feared she’d never remove the wretched taste from her horrified tongue. Perhaps if she could kiss her handsome Will, the foul taste might fade away.
Elizabeth smiled in virginal bliss and sat to wait for her ship to come in.
THREE MONTHS LATER
A queasy Jack near fell from Legolas’ wide bed and barely made it to the bathroom. After spitting up in the chamber pot, he held his belly and frowned. All right, this was like no sickness he had ever experienced. During the past week Jack awoke, got sick but then he felt fine for the remainder of the day. But there were other weird things... he always felt hungry. Plus his belly felt odd. When Jack cautiously peered into the mirror yesterday he wondered why his lean waist had grown paunchy. The pirate’s vanity hated to admit it, but his belly looked bigger.
Did Jack have a tumor? Did he have... something nasty picked up from the tropics? From drinking bad rum? Aside from the sickness, Jack truly felt fine! After all, these past three months had been filled with sheer romantic bliss. Although Legolas’ Father didn’t like Jack much, he tolerated Jack’s new place in the palace. Jack received the distinct impression that sour King Thranduil would rather see his son with one beau instead of many. It appeared that someone had been a bit of an easy piece, as it were. Since the determined to have Jack remain Legolas constantly told everyone that Jack was a brave warrior, the other Elves treated him well.
Their days were filled with sword fighting, archery practice, outings on the dark river and wet, hot sex. Regarding swordplay his lovely Legolas possessed natural skill and amazingly quick reflexes but old Jack taught him the proper footwork. In turn his beautiful Elf adored teaching Jack bow skills... anything that involved Legolas holding him close suited Jack fine.
Jack did miss his sea-going ways, so he indulged in taking a small vessel for jaunts along the unoriginally named Forest River. Of course Legolas came along because he worried about Jack being alone on the river; he feared Jack might end up in the Enchanted River and that would be wicked. Jack thought his Legolas wasn’t the most competent first mate, but he was the damned sexiest.
And the sex... well, the frequent, intoxicatingly wicked sex made Jack wonder if he had arrived in some weird leafy Heaven. Maybe he was dead. If so, then thank you very much for this wildly lusty afterworld.
So it wasn’t as if Jack sat around doing nothing but eating. His middle shouldn’t be growing rounded. Even as he fretted, Jack leaned over and contributed more bile to the pot. Bloody hell, he hadn’t felt this vile since his drunken weekend at that one Jamaican brothel!
Warm, firm hands suddenly caressed his spasming shoulders. “Oh my darling Jack, so you come from a place where the males are like me! No wonder you felt worried about me making love to you.”
Jack turned his head and slowly blinked up at his Legolas. Eh? “Whatever are you talking about, luv?”
“You must be pregnant! I’ve noticed you getting ill in the mornings plus your belly has developed the most adorable little swell. We’ve created a baby in you!”
Jack’s dark brown eyes performed their finest bulge yet. Only Legolas’ quick hands prevented the startled pirate from falling face-first into the chamber pot.
Nnnngggh. Go away. Ug. Nasty bad smell. Smelled like the inside of a pirate’s old leather boot. Urrgh...
Jack blinked and stared up into Legolas’ concerned face. His beautiful Elf instantly questioned him. “My darling Jack, are you all right? Is this something serious? Are you in pain? I have called the healer so...”
Jack’s frantic mind raced and jumped like a bee-stung horse during a royal tournament. “Legolas, you can get pregnant?”
Legolas casually shrugged as if the notion wasn’t the craziest thing ever revealed to listening ears. “Well, we wood Elves can. It’s why I like to be the aggressor when I make love to a male. My strict Father certainly wouldn’t be pleased if I became pregnant. But I feel so excited for you! Dear Jack, you’re going to have our baby!”
A confounded Jack couldn’t halt his next hard words. “Luv, excuse me, but you must be right out of your bleedin’ mind. Males do not become pregnant. No, excuse me, I do not come from a strange, unnatural place where men become pregnant. Trust me, dearie, the women do all the brat breeding. So yes, my dear Legolas, you must be utterly, absolutely, and indisputably daft. You are mad.”
Instead of becoming insulted, a glowing in joy Legolas patted Jack’s slight belly and tenderly kissed his cheek. “Nonsense, my precious, I know better. Now let’s get you off of this cold tile floor. I am sure it isn’t good for you and the baby. Come on, darling, stand up, there’s my wonderful mother to be.”
For the first time since they had met, Jack almost punched Legolas right in his pert nose. He instantly felt bad for his nasty old urge. He almost wanted to cry.
Oh no. That wasn’t right. Not at all. Captain Jack Sparrow did not cry. But then again nor did he get pregnant, or so he thought. This just couldn’t be happening to him!
After the trying not to laugh healer left the bedroom, a dazed Jack moaned and shook his head. “Legolas, darlin’, I just can’t comprehend this bizarre event. How can I be pregnant? Granted you’ve explored just about every inch of my eager body with your long, loving lance but still...”
As he stroked Jack’s black hair, Legolas suddenly looked excited. “Oh my darling, perhaps something happened to you during our return! Mithrandir’s sorcery could have changed you!”
Well wasn’t that just bonny? An out of sorts Jack still felt like he wanted to scream, curse and run in wild circles. “Well, my beauty, what ever it is it’s not natural. I am not supposed to grow a baby in me!”
As he uttered a compassionate little moan, Legolas embraced Jack close and nearly choked him with lush kisses. Oh no, his poor darling must think Legolas didn’t respect him anymore! “It’s all right, my Jack, I don’t think any less of you for being in such a fertile condition. Instead I feel so happy and excited! I shall shower you with love and do everything I can to make you happy. Fear not, darling, I shall be your devoted mate in every single way.”
Jack still pouted then a wicked smile suddenly crossed his lips. “You’ll give me back rubs, foot rubs and belly rubs?”
“Of course I shall.”
“You’ll pay special attention to my dear old lance?”
“I shall worship your manly lance as much as needed.” Legolas leaned down and pressed his moist lips against Jack’s limp cock. Jack moaned and ran his fingers through Legolas’ thick hair. As he nuzzled slowly, Legolas whispered against Jack’s stiffening flesh. “Shall I begin now?”
“Suit yourself, luv.”
In seconds the talented Legolas had Jack sprawled on the bed gasping in mindless pleasure.
Bloody hell, maybe being pregnant wasn’t going to be so bad.
FIVE MONTHS LATER:
“Legolas?”
The lovely Elf looked up from reading his book. He had decided to spend his afternoon stretched out alongside Jack on the plush velvet couch. Legolas smiled; he knew by the charming little smile on Jack’s lips that his mate wanted something. “Yes, my precious Jack?”
“Problem to report, luv. We’ve run out of these delicious honey balls.”
Legolas’ shimmering eyes widened in playful distress. “Oh no! My darling, you relax and I shall fetch you more.”
Jack waved his twitching fingers against Legolas’ smooth cheek. “And more wine too. Pretty please? I know I’m not supposed to over indulge but... just a bit?”
“Anything you want, my darling. And when I return I shall rub your feet. Your poor toes look puffy today.” Before he left Legolas leaned down and pressed his lips against Jack’s round, silk-covered belly. His melodic voice turned husky with sexy promise. “And then perhaps I can pay attention to a few other special places.”
After watching Legolas’ stunning buttocks disappear from the room, Jack grinned and rested back. His beautiful Elf treated him like a king. Blazes, he felt like a fat, baby-swollen king.
Aye, Jack could get used to this new life. He had already become used to being so completely in love with a male. Hell, Jack had never truly been in love with anyone before now, so Legolas had done the near impossible. Granted Jack wasn’t used to his own mood swings, his dramatic weight gain or the very concept of bringing up a child, but he could adapt. Even if Jack mucked things up, he knew that his devoted Legolas was going to be a brilliant parent. Jack had never met a more loving creature.
Pirate Captain Jack Sparrow, mother to be. If that wasn’t the most interesting and hilarious thing that he had ever heard then... well, hold on, it positively was the most interesting and hilarious thing in this strange place called Middle Earth or on any old Earth.
As he patted his hard, protruding belly Jack wondered if they were going to have a little boy or a girl. If they had a little boy then the sentimental Jack was definitely naming him William. After all, in a way he had young Mr. Turner to thank for this brave new life.
And if a wee lass battled her way from Jack’s big belly then... well, what else but Elizabeth? Only any daughter of Captain Jack Sparrow would not grow up to be a rum-burning, dangerously sly wench. Oh no. Here she would be a warrior. She’d be able to whip any rascally scalawag who looked at her wrong.
Whatever the case, they could always try for another wee one.
Jack blinked and slowly shook his head. Had he gone completely stark, raving daft? Carry another baby?
His bonny Legolas chose that moment to return and smile down at Jack in his sinfully adoring fashion. “Here we are... and here I am, my dear, sweet lover.” After Legolas placed the treats and wine within Jack’s easy reach, the tall Prince sensuously ran his strong hands over Jack’s massively curved belly. He slowly pulled down Jack’s loose leggings. “I decided the foot rub can come second... something else comes first... and hopefully someone else.” Playfully licking his full lips Legolas ducked his golden head down. Soft hair swept across Jack’s thighs. Warm lips and a long, wet tongue performed an intricate act designed to near kill a man with overwhelming passion.
Hnnnghhn mmm ohhh. Yes, Jack had gone mad... over his fair, enchanting Elf.
Come on then, large families were fun.