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ArWen the Eternally Surprised
Author: Ria Time: 2007/11/22
Arwen encounters a strange monk and gains a little extra time.
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That's Interesting
Submitter: Date: 2006/4/22 Views: 663 Rate: 6.60/5
Summary: Title: That’s Interesting NC-17 Legolas/Jack Sparrow
Author/Email: sandyg
Pairing: The Pretty Elf and the Pretty Pirate
Rating: NC-17
Type: FPS
Summary: When Jack is again marooned on that ever unpopular island, he discovers another out of sorts visitor... who has his own interesting ideas.
Disclaimer: Just borrowing names from the Mouse and JRRT. No harm intended. Kiss, kiss. And doing the research was so much fun... watch “PotC” over and over? I’ll take as a job, please.

An outraged Jack Sparrow stalked away from the loathsome rum inferno. Imagine torching wooden kegs containing lovely, aged rum just to draw attention to one’s self! Damn that self-centered, sneaky wench! What a tight-lipped spoilsport! And imagine him, the so-called sly pirate, being stupid enough to fall for Liz’s cunning trap. Grr, if Jack had acted more aggressively, he would have indeed worked his way into her far lower trap that also started with a “C”. Since Jack was a soft gent at heart, he disliked using certain words even when the said scurvy wench deserved his raving scorn.

Ahh, Jack should have known Elizabeth’s seductive intents were merely cold, virginal manipulations. Never trust a virgin. Never. Blast, they acted as wily and vicious as Barbossa, but usually they looked far less ugly.

As he stomped through the hot white sand, the furious pirate rounded a curve which took him away from the flames. He suddenly stopped, blinked and almost fell backward. Jack’s right hand went for his battered blade then he remembered he no longer possessed the weapon. Blast and bollocks! He hated pointing his pistol again but instinct took over. Here now, how the Devil did someone else get marooned on this forsaken island? Who had this fellow irritated?

Jack crept up slowly. Luckily a few low, wide palmetto fronds screened his stealthy approach. The man, well, Jack thought it to be a man; he dressed like a man but... like no man Jack ever saw. All right, Jack had witnessed some pretentious pirates in his time, but this one dressed right queer; everything hugged his skin! Plus this male looked much prettier than your average pirate or even your average woman, as it were. Jack enjoyed blondes; granted, he harbored a hankering for anything that would tumble him, but blondes truly captured his fancy. Yes indeed, this pale creature’s luscious, long blonde hair shimmered in the sun’s rays; look, he even decorated his hair with graceful braids. A smiling Jack fingered his own tiny chin braids. Ha, see, they were two of a kind.

After one more cautious step forward, Jack deadstopped and almost squealed. No. All right, he drank a prodigious amount of run last night, ouch, his throbbing head told him that fact, but he knew his eyes functioned correctly. After all, a few minutes ago, as he aimed his pistol, Jack saw only one black-hearted, rum-burning, false bit of stuck-up skirt. And he only saw one of this creature. But Jack’s startled eyes definitely viewed a delicate pointed ear. Yes indeed, the sculpted ear facing Jack came to a graceful ivory point. Now that wasn’t right.

As his sweaty fingers twitched against the God-awful humid air, Jack’s rum-muddled brain cobbled stray facts together. Pointed ears. Dressed mainly in shades of green. Leprechaun? Hmm, weren’t leprechauns short with curly red beards and cheerful expressions? This, ah, blast, for Satan’s sake, call him a man, looked almost as woeful and doleful as Jack felt.

And no leprechaun, leastwise none that old Jack ever heard of, displayed a nasty long bow strapped to his back. And a quiver filled with feathery arrows. Aye, quite a few birds gave their tails for that wicked arsenal. Plus those two lethal-looking, white handled blades flanking the quiver hardly defined lighthearted. Beside, where was the legendary pot of gold? Naught to be seen here. Although truth be told this pretty male appeared as shining and fine as any pot of gold.

What in blazes name was this beautiful being?

Time to find out. “Hsst. You there! Hallo, you there! Yoo-hoo! Halloooo.... Come on then, are you deaf, mate? Pssst, over here!”

Eh? The stoic blonde didn’t even blink. No, he still sat there morosely staring out into the sparkling blue ocean.

Jack frowned and scratched at a salty patch irritating his right cheek. After being pickled in the briny deep so many times, it was a wonder his skin wasn’t as cured as hard tack. Bless his Mum’s good skin.

All right then, what went on here?

No one had ever accused Captain Jack Sparrow of being a coward, at least not recently. And usually not to his very face. Yes, fine, Jack felt sure a few lackwits doubted his swashbuckle, but they were mere fools. Bolding stepping out from the palmetto’s green cover, the slender pirate paused, then he slowly crept forward. The creature still didn’t move. No fair!

As Jack drew closer, he bit his lower lip. He slowly cocked his head to the right and squinted. Well then, this pointy-eared being truly was breathtakingly beautiful. Now Jack knew a thing or two about physical beauty and this man, overgrown leprechaun, pixy, Elf or whatever the hell, looked as stunning as, erm, a glittering heap of fine-cut emeralds. Jack decided it must be a he or else the flattest chested woman on this island. Granted that evil, rum-burning daughter of a dottering fool wasn’t much in the bosom department, but at least she gave shape to a bodice. This creature’s chest appeared flat and lean. All right, he had wide eyes, kissable pink lips and that sinfully smooth blonde hair but still, there was something masculine about his bearing and carriage; aye, something stern and no nonsense about those elegantly level shoulders.

As he held up his spasming hands in readiness, Jack edged closer until he hovered a mere foot away. Was this odd male in a trance? Was he drugged? He was alive; Jack’s staring eyes watched his firm chest rise and fall. Jack’s bare feet moved silently along the sand. Ten inches. Eight inches. Six inches. Four inches. Unable to control himself, Jack reached his wagging fingers out. The pirate was just about to feel if that smooth, golden as a doubloon hair felt as soft as it looked when...

A flurry of movement ended with Jack flat on his back with this male digging a strong bony knee into his stomach. One of those wickedly curved blades hovered near his chin. Not good, not good! Urrrgghhh ouch, oh stop, ouch! Pretty please don’t cut the beard!

A demanding torrent of a scintillatingly sing-song language smacked into Jack’s startled face. Jack had heard many a foreign tongue in his time but this weird speak beat them all. It sounded like music the angels might dance to way on high.

As he tried not pissing himself in fright, Jack slowly raised his hands above his head and produced his finest craven smile. He tried looking like a whipped puppy. “Friend, savvy? Me friend. I no hurt you. Friend.”

The male’s wide blue eyes narrowed then he cocked his head. “Who are you?”

Jack instantly grinned and sighed in profound relief. “Oh good, you do speak the King’s English. That’s a right blessing. I’m Captain Jack Sparrow. Ever so pleased to meet you Mr... ahhh...err...”

Instead of cooperating, Legolas dug his knee in a little harder. He didn’t readily give his name to mere strangers. Good; his captive’s wide dark eyes displayed the proper respectful reaction. “Why were you blundering about watching me? Are you a vile sorcerer? Did you have something to do with stranding me here in this strange place?”

Jack frantically shook his head against the hot sand. Ahh, this lean beauty proved to be quite strong! “Arrgh, actually no. I myself am in a bit of a nasty tight spot. I was hoping you could tell me how you got here so we could erm, return the same way?” Right now Jack knew that nothing short of a miracle would save his neck from Norrington.

Legolas’ smooth face tightened in further annoyance. “Strangely named human, I have no reckoning how I came here. I was hunting in my forest and suddenly a most unusual glow appeared. The blue light enveloped me and next I knew I sprawled here in this hot sand.” His expression turned longing. “Aii, being surrounded by the fair Sea makes me feel restless and sad, because I know it is not yet my time to travel over her shining waves to my final destiny.”
Well now, that was a poetic way of saying you weren’t ready to die. All right, verbose but cute. “Yes, I know exactly what you mean by that, bucko. I myself am not so inclined to appreciate this blasted place because I also know it is not yet my time to go. But where did you come from?”


Jack blinked in confusion. “Well then, I take it you aren’t from around here?”
Legolas angrily shook his head. His front braids slapped against Jack’s face. “Sir, I have no idea where here is!”

After he recovered from the pleasant sensation of being braid-whipped, Jack answered the beauty’s complaint. “We are marooned on a forsaken spit of sand in the flawless Caribbean.”

Now what was that strange word? Legolas arched his right brow. He detested feeling so confused and stupid! It just wasn’t like him. “What is this Car-Caribbean?”

What a bizarre question! As he frowned up at this beauty, Jack’s right hand carefully wiggled toward the lapping waves. “Erm, you’re looking at it, my fine fellow. All the vast, deadly cerulean depths of it.”

“Odd; I have never heard of such a sea.” Giving into his fresh annoyance Legolas harshly dug his knee into Jack’s taut belly again. Jack gagged and choked for breath. “Jack Sparrow, you have the dangerous appearance of a human mercenary, of a bizarre corsair. Are you sure you did not trick me into believing magic has been performed on me? Or have I been drugged and kidnapped? I swear if you have done wrong by me, I shall...”

Jack choked again and dazedly shook his head. “No, honest, I had nothing to do with your circumstances... look, mate, if you could be so kind as to stop trying to make my bloody intestines squeeze out my spine I’d prove eternally grateful.”

Aii, this Jack was right; Legolas was acting like a mannerless Orc. After heaving a frustrated sigh, Legolas relented and finally released Jack. “Forgive me, Jack Sparrow, for causing you pain. It’s just that I feel so frustrated! So you also found yourself suddenly set on this island? I noticed smoke behind us but I decided to sit here and try concentrating on returning. I feared to move on the chance that this glow might return and hence transport me home.”
As he stalled for a little time, Jack slowly sat up in exaggerated pain then he answered the blonde’s question with a question. “Erm, how long have you been here?”

“I feel mere minutes.”

“Ahh, I was dumped here last night.”

“Why were you cast off to such a dismal place?”

Jack clasped his tanned hands into a prayer. “Evil men, lad. Evil men who stole my beautiful ship and left me here to perish upon these very unforgiving shores. Corsairs, yes, foul pirates who want to rid themselves of me because they fear me, as it were.” Not lying. No. Jack decided the full truth wasn’t needed. He sensed this honest beauty wasn’t keen on pirates. He looked to be the heroic Will Turner type, always seeking the good in men. Silly trait. Useless.

“Ahh, I see. That is a sad tale. Yet what is that smoke?” Legolas’ glorious blue eyes widened in realization. Jack almost groaned; zounds, this male proved lovelier than a welcome single malt Scotch whiskey after a long fruitless voyage. “I see; you seek to draw attention to yourself. But what if the foul villains who left you here see yon signal and return to slay you for real?”
Jack’s fingers artfully described filigreed ovals in the air. “No chance of that, lad, but others may come who act just as wicked. This place is overflowing with evil men out to do others harm. They wear blood red uniforms and swarm in packs like gnawing rats. Disgraceful fellows.”

Legolas wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Faugh, it sounds like foul Mordor.”
Hmm, this chap really wasn’t from around here. Jack cautiously replied. “Well, I suppose so... is that a dark, evil place?”

A serious nod answered Jack. “Indeed the worst in all Middle Earth.”

“I see then.” A befuddled Jack had no clue what this beautiful blonde spoke of but watching those full, moist lips move made him feel less vile. Since they seemed to have reached level conversational ground, Jack repeated his earlier question. “So mate, what do you call yourself?”

As Jack watched, the beauty inclined his graceful chin toward his firm chest. “I am Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood, which is an Elven realm.”

A Prince of Elves? What? All right then, perhaps Jack was hallucinating this breathing dream. Well, he had nothing better to do right now so may as well keep chatting. “Well met, Prince Legolas. Now let’s see, before you arrived here you were hunting?”

Legolas nodded, he pleased to have this curious male’s interest. His tastes did lean toward humans with dark hair and rakish beards, so this grubby yet pretty man filled his desires. He decided to brag a little. “Yes, I hunted a particularly sly giant spider that plagued my father’s finest horses. I was fast on the foul creature’s trail when suddenly I arrived here.”

Jack bugged his eyes and looked sincerely impressed. “So you hunt giant spiders, eh? That’s interesting.” And really unnatural. Jack hated spiders and if this lovely Elf could stand to hunt giant ones then he must be braver than Jack. No wonder Jack found him so fascinating.

Trying to look innocent, something which usually failed him, Jack fluttered his tanned fingers toward Legolas’ firm chest. “Look, Legolas, aren’t you hot in all those heavy suede clothes? Aye, they be very fine clothes but... perhaps you should... erm, loosen up a bit?”

To Jack’s surprised pleasure, Legolas merely nodded. “Aye, I usually I don’t feel weather extremes but this fierce sun makes me monstrously hot.”

A smiling Jack couldn’t agree more. Keeping his wide dark eyes friendly instead of lusting, he nodded encouragingly and watched. Legolas’ long fingers raced down the green suede tunic’s fastenings then they undid a thin, silvery silk garment. A smitten Jack tried not to drool. Mmm, flesh so smooth, creamy and pale... but firm and manly. Lovely. Perfect.

Jack had no idea what had gotten into him but he just knew that this pointy-eared Elf was one of those exceptions to his few rules. He usually wasn’t one for the lads, although he admitted his lusty eyes had examined young Will’s tight ass a few times. No chance there; that crazy boy proved too infatuated with the rum-burning ice queen. Jack pitied the fair lad; he hoped that if hapless Will finally did diddle old Liz his young dick didn’t freeze off in the process. Ouch.

Aye, hallucination or not, this shimmering male broke all of Jack’s boundaries.

When Legolas reached his pale fingers over and tugged Jack’s baggy shirt open, the pirate almost choked in shock. “Ah, you are tanned and so scarred. Your manly body has endured many a battle. You must be such a brave warrior!”

Jack nodded so hard he almost sent a few beads flying. He waved his hands in grave agreement. “The very same, lad, the very same. A staunch, tried and true veteran of many deadly yet heroic battles against all forms of slinking evil.” Taking advantage of Legolas’ interest, Jack eagerly shimmied off his battered cotton shirt and gestured at his chest. “Aye, I have the wounds to prove my unerring battle valor.”

Legolas gasped and ran his elegant fingers over Jack’s many scars. “Indeed you must be an exceedingly brave warrior. Your firm skin tells me such epic tales.” His warm fingertips ended on Jack’s stunned right nipple and gently squeezed.

Jack sputtered and locked gazes with those rare as sapphire eyes. The lissome Legolas suddenly offered him a hair-raising smile. “Captain Jack, I appreciate handsome human warriors. Do you appreciate sharing with other warriors?”

A near to fainting Jack prayed that sharing meant what he hoped it meant. His long fingers twitched and rippled near Legolas’ golden hair. “Mmm, all the time, luv, all the time. Sharing is caring.”

The rebelliously naughty Legolas shivered a bit. “Then, Captain Jack, shall we pass the time here by exploring such sharing?”

The giddy Jack wanted to dance around in glee. Could his seduction truly be so easy? “Ha, young one, I certainly wouldn’t mind mounting my flag pole on you.” And definitely in you, lad.

Legolas’ sexy light chuckle made Jack’s cock twitch in anticipation. “Captain Jack, you possess a strange way with words but I enjoy it.” As he spoke, Legolas peeled free from his hose or leotards or whatever encased his lovely muscular legs and kicked off his short boots.

Jack almost ripped his waist scarf and salt-encrusted trousers in two.
When they knelt there staring at each other, Jack wanted to weep like a happy child whose mother just told him he never had to eat cauliflower ever again. Gadzooks, women would give their first borns for such flawless peaches and cream skin. Most men would kill their old grannies to possess such a long, limber cock. Another fact slammed into Jack’s lusting brain; this lad was hairless! Except for that glorious mane and silky pubic hair, his skin proved smooth as a newborn’s ass. He was beyond gorgeous!

As he marveled at the bonny view, Jack’s aching cock snapped to attention faster than one of Norrington’s red-coated lackeys.

Suddenly a gasping Jack once again found himself embedded in the sand with that powerful male body squirming over his own flesh. Happy Jack forgot to breathe. He forgot to think. He forgot what deathly trouble he was in.
Finally pulling himself out of his daze, Jack ran his be-ringed hands over Legolas’ lightly muscled back and cupped his sweet round cheeks. Mmm, talk about treasure! Ahh, this pert butt was worth a pile of gold. He couldn’t wait to slip twitching Jack Jr. deep inside.

A lusty Legolas busily flicked his tongue against Jack’s pleased tongue. As he explored this human, the Elf thought that Jack’s warm mouth tasted nice, strong and refreshing like an intoxicatingly heady brew. Delicious. In between his devouring kisses, Legolas breathed words into Jack’s gasping mouth. “My boring father does not like me to cavort with human warriors but I find the experience ever so pleasurable.” Hard kiss. “You are quite a handsome warrior, so different than I.” Wetter than water kiss. “You have such unique hair, yet you adorn yourself like some Elves do, with bangles and beads.” Heartstopping kiss. “Ahh, that’s another thing I adore about humans; their facial hair. I find it ever so manly.” Drawing back a bit Legolas nipped and nibbled on Jack’s mustache.

An astonished Jack could only smile and fondle this Elf’s fair flesh as fast as he could. When Legolas suddenly wadded Jack’s clothing into a ball and shoved the garments under Jack’s slim hips, stark realization set in. Oh no, this Elf intended on making Jack’s virginal ass walk his plank?

Jack waved his pointer fingers in the air and urgently bugged his eyes again. “Hold a second, mate. Erm, is it your intent to... ravish me?”

Legolas’ ripe lips formed a pretty little frown. “Dear Jack, I never ravish anyone; I only make enchanting love to my elite warriors.”

Oh la da, another crafty answer. This bucko was good. “Erm, well, in case it has slipped your notice, I am the Captain around here. I’m not the one usually flat on his back.” Nor on his belly either.

Now Legolas released a brilliant trill of silvery laughter. The mere sound made Jack’s ready to mutiny cock spin in tight circles. “Well, Captain Jack, I am the Prince here. Let me tell you I have possessed Generals and even a potential King, and so far I have heard no complaints. Do not fret; I shall act gentle.” Leaning over Legolas plucked a small glass vessel from a pouch on his quiver. “See? I am always prepared for pleasurable action.” After dripping the night jasmine scented oil on his tense cock, the Elf lunged forward.

Before Jack could issue further protest, this beautiful Elf slowly slid his long, lightly oiled lance inside Jack’s surprised tunnel. Jack didn’t know whether to laugh or scream. The strange pressure felt painful but oddly sexy. Whatever Legolas rubbed on his dick smelled amazingly heady. Legolas’ cock teased slowly inside of Jack, the Elf moving carefully until his hips suddenly performed a firm thrust.

That time Jack choked in wild shock but suddenly... hmmm, what sensation was he feeling now? Oh, ahhhh... what did that long cock suddenly hit? Bloody hell, that sensation felt marvelous! Oooo! Old Jack distinctly felt he was no longer a virgin to the mast.

Watching his new lover’s expression shift from confused pain to blissful delight made Legolas smile in triumph. See, no complaints. Legolas knew he now teased a male’s special pleasure area. And his talented cock would tease Jack again and again until he couldn’t stand the delight.

Whimpering in astonishment Jack gave in and accepted that this lovely yet commanding Elf indeed knew his sexy craft. A small part of his mind prayed that a certain rum-burning, blacksmith fancier didn’t decided to take a stroll around the island. If Elizabeth saw Jack now, there’d be no living with her.
When Legolas lightly ran his nails up and down Jack’s hard cock, that was almost the end of the quivering pirate. His own hands now sculpted and caressed this creature’s lovely taut waist. He pinched those adorable rosy nipples. Aye, anything Jack touched on this Elf felt fair as the dawn after a dangerous battle.

When Legolas gained a fierce rhythm, poor Jack lost all remaining coherency. His entire body danced and twitched just like his fingers were wont to do. He surrendered to Legolas and released his cannon shot against this creature’s firm belly. Bloodly lovely! Anchors away!

He felt Legolas spasm deeply inside him in a heroic flood.

A dazzled Jack prayed that if this was a hallucination then please never let it stop. He could sprawl on this beach making love to this beauty for ages.

Then again he might starve to death but he’d die a happy pirate.

Warrior. Not pirate. Remember that, bucko.
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