Chapter 6
Legolas sat in the oak tree spying on his neighbor. The man, he was sure, was insane. If he were not insane, he would not fly the jolly roger, play loud, crazy music at all hours of the night and day, and dance like a wildfire. He, as if to prove the elf's point, was standing on his deck flexing his muscles at the sun.
'What are you doing?' Aragorn called up to him.
'Spying,' Legolas called down.
'Legolas, you shouldn't be spying on the neighbors,' Aragorn scolded.
'Why not? You do it,' Legolas retorted.
'It isn't a nice habit.'
Legolas balanced himself cross-legged on the branch and thought this over for a while, strumming his bare knees contemplatively. The hobbits' laughter carried across the yard. They were playing some sort of hobbit game in front of the house; he could not see them.
'So?' he finally asked.
Aragorn rolled his eyes. 'Get down from there, Legolas.'
Legolas smiled at him. 'Catch me.'
'What? I don't want to catch you, Greenleaf.' Aragorn complained.
'Then I won't get down.' He folded his arms across his white polo shirt.
The neighbor was now pacing back and forth on his deck, holding a box to his ear, ranting at the air. Insane, most definitely.
'Fine, I'll catch you,' Aragorn agreed with a groan.
Legolas hung from the branch for a moment, then dropped.
Aragorn caught him and set him down. 'Bad elf.'
Legolas laughed at him and ran away. The grass was soft and warm under his feet.
'Be careful there,' Gimli's rough voice warned him.
'Careful of what?' he asked, stopping.
'Be careful of Sam's garden,' said the dwarf.
'Is that Sam's garden?' asked Legolas, nodding to a patch of bare land.
'Yes,' said the dwarf.
'And what do you care about gardens?'
'Just watch for it, Elf,' Gimli growled.
Legolas walked over to the garden and knelt beside it. He could feel Gimli watching him suspiciously as he murmured the garden a blessing in Quenya.
'What are you doing?'
'Blessing the garden,' said Legolas, standing up and brushing the dirt off his brown shorts.
'Elf magic doesn't work here.'
'Does it not?'
'No, it does not work at all.'
'And does dwarf magic?'
'Yes, of course.'
'I do not believe you.'
Gimli blessed the garden in Dwarvish. 'You will see the workings of Dwarvish magic when the garden grows more splendidly than you could have imagined.'
'Gimli, when the garden grows to the magnificence that I have bestowed upon it, it will be evidence of Elvish magic,' Legolas retorted.
Gimli shook his head stubbornly. 'You're making a mistake there, Master Elf.'
Legolas murmured again to the garden. 'And when no weeds grow, it will be evidence that my Elvish magic does indeed still work here.'
'And when the garden needs no watering, it will prove that Dwarvish magic is the superior,' said Gimli proudly.
Legolas glared at him and started to speak, but was cut off shortly by Aragorn.
'Legolas,' he said. 'Do you want to help Boromir and me with the laundry?'
Legolas nodded. 'All right.'
'Want to help, Gimli?' asked Aragorn.
'Not if he's going to be there,' said Gimli, glaring pointedly at Legolas.
Legolas folded his arms and tossed his head indignantly.
'Suit yourself,' Aragorn said, walking away.
Legolas and Aragorn went down to the basement where Boromir was sorting the laundry. The rhythmic sound of Elrond tapping away at the typewriter drifted down the stairs after them. He had taken up poetry and was working on a novel, so he was at the typewriter almost all day. He took his new identity very seriously.
'So, it's brights, darks, and whites?' asked Boromir, looking down at the instruction manual.
'If it says so,' said Aragorn.
'And you should separate lint causing clothes and lint attracting clothes,' Boromir continued.
They looked at the week's worth of laundry. 'If anyone had told me a month ago that I would be doing laundry, I would have laughed,' said Boromir with a shake of his head.
They got to work.
'I've heard that the whole country is getting ready to celebrate its independence,' said Boromir, after a few minutes of silence.
'Oh?' said Aragorn.
Boromir nodded. 'About 240 years ago they broke away from their king.'
'I read about that,' said Aragorn. 'They thought they were being treated unjustly and the colonies banded together and fought their way to independence.'
'What country did America break from?' asked Legolas.
'England,' said Aragorn.
'Are the English trying to get it back?' Legolas wondered.
'No, now the English and the Americans are great friends,' Aragorn replied.
'I wonder why,' said Legolas.
Aragorn shrugged. 'I suppose you could study the history.'
'At any rate,' said Boromir, 'when the day comes around, July 4th, everyone throws parties and they have fireworks and parades.'
'Sounds exciting,' said Aragorn, measuring out the detergent.
'And we got invited to one,' Boromir continued.
'What?' Aragorn exclaimed.
'Yes, all of us.'
'Who invited us?'
'The neighbors.'
'Which ones?'
'The ones with the three kids and the chickens—the Kemptons—I think,' said Boromir.
'And how did you manage to get us invited?' asked Aragorn.
Boromir shrugged. 'He asked.'
'I think the children are adorable,' said Legolas.
Aragorn rolled his eyes. 'And what happens when they think that the hobbits are children too and want to play with them?'
'Then they play with them,' said Legolas. 'We are not the only ones who can act.'
Boromir nodded. 'That's right, the hobbits can play kids just fine.'
Aragorn sighed. 'I suppose you are right, but it just makes me a little nervous.'
Legolas folded his arms. 'You don't have to be a grump just because Gandalf isn't here to scold us,' he said.
'They are going to have some sort of a "cook-out" in their backyard,' said Boromir, he dropped an armload of clothing in the wash machine. 'It doesn't sound that bad, besides, we have to learn to live with our neighbors.'
Aragorn nodded. 'Yes, our neighbors…'
'They seem like nice people,' said Legolas, sitting down on the hamper. 'At least the Kemptons, the man in the red house is crazy.'
Aragorn nodded again. 'I'm sure they are, and you shouldn't be so critical of your own neighbors. That's all for the laundry right now. Dismissed.'
Legolas raised his eyebrows and dumped a basket of clean socks over his head.
'Ah! Legolas! What are you doing?' cried Aragorn.
'Stop being such a boss!' demanded the elf, tackling him.
Aragorn wrested him around, but Boromir joined in the fray.
'Not fair!' Aragorn exclaimed. 'Two against one is not fair at all!'
They ignored his complaints and pinned him down to the basement floor.
'Say we can go to the party,' Legolas ordered.
'Why should I?'
'Because if you don't, we'll never let you up.'
'All right, you can go.'
'And promise that you'll stop bossing everyone around all the time,' the elf continued.
'But I'm supposed to take care of all of you.'
'We can take care of ourselves,' said Boromir. 'Now promise, or we we'll tie you up and leave you.'
'All right, I promise.'
'Good.' Boromir got off him.
'Excellent.' Legolas sprang to his feet and started to pick up the socks.
Aragorn and Boromir joined him.
'See what trouble you caused?' Aragorn scolded.
Legolas gave him a look.
'Never mind,' Aragorn muttered.