Havoc: Woot! I got promoted to an important character’s buddy!

Sarah: And I got promoted from nameless extra to a character’s romantic interest! I told you to watch out for me!

Havoc: *beams* I love alternate universes!

Alice: I still know how to trust good people. Yay for kid’s intuition!

Beregond: I get demoted to babysitting and reading fairy tales. Meh, at least I can relax.

Painting of Ship: You were saying?

Beregond: Crap.

Wrench: I’m the only utensil with a fangirl following. *cracks Ed’s skull*

Ed: *icepack on head* Excuse me, I’m going to have a stroll around, pining for the fjords.

Narrator: And time to explain the LOTR fan readers what happened to Ed and Alphonse with flashbacks!

LOTR readers: You know… couldn’t you have… like… put that at the first part?

Narrator: D’oh! *facepalm*

Winry: I’m mean and feisty, but push my right buttons and I can be really sweet.

Pinako: Once her sweetness finds its way out, that is.

Al: Do you think Beregond misses us?

Ed: Of course, Al. That guy can’t go a step without us around.

Beregond: Home alone! Whoo hoo!

Hayate: I’ve heard about dog of the military, but this is ridiculous.

Beregond: And now allow me to demonstrate something that only comic superheroes can pull off: turn from kick ass to geek and then back to kick ass!

Fawcette: You’re still an ape.

Beregond: You still haven’t attended your family reunion, have you?

Fawcette: *fume*

Envy: *groan* Who was the idiot who said that stalking is exciting?

Ross, Bloch: Time for the “mistake-Al-for-Ed” game! And get throttled for saying the “s” word.

Readers: *gasp*

Bloch: We mean short.

Ed: *fume*

Roy: Ed, Al and Beregond had their angst, now it’s time for mine. But I will only be hurting on the inside, because I can pull off cool stuff like that.

Beregond: Bala , in the primitive form of Sindarin, my tongue, means ‘god’. And from that derives the Sindarin word Balan , which also means ‘god’. Balan is the equivalent of the Quenyan term I use for ‘god’ – Vala … and Valar in plural. The powers of the world that Ilúvatar created out of his thought.

Narrator: Erm… Yeah, I’ve been watching the Da Vinci Code while writing this. Why do you ask?

Alice: Cliché no 8. Kid doesn’t want to leave their home and runs away.

Beregond: Cliché no 9. I find the kid and show the said kid the error of their ways.

Fawcette: I become a scumbag.

Connors: I defend my subordinate, saying that he has a point; then I snap at him and say that he’s an imbecile. I wish I could make up my mind…

Roy: Damn it, how am I supposed to become Führer when I keep getting distracted?!

Havoc: *hearts fly around head*

Sarah: *Giggles like silly*

Beregond: Matchmaker Matchmaker, make me a match…

Roy: *groan* Never mind.

Envy: Well, I’m happy! *steals file*

Beregond: Well, time to give Maes a description of Havoc’s romantic interest. Long black hair, green eyes, tall and slim… Hmm… why does this sound familiar?

*Suddenly, a male Elf with long black hair, green eyes, tall and slim appears and hits Narrator on the head*

Narrator: What? I made one of my original characters look like Riza, I thought it would be nice to make an alter of you too!

Ceranos: *gritting teeth* And I’m showing you my appreciation for turning me into a woman.

Narrator: *snorts* Ingrate…

Ceranos: *fumes*

Beregond: Are you two done? I want to show my concern for the Elric brothers by asking worriedly how they are!

Maes: And I want to show my daughter-obsession! It’s been 5 seconds since last time!

Narrator, Ceranos: Whatever…

Al: Is it possible for a suit of armour to get a migraine?

Ed: Apparently. *drops dead*

Envy: I’m going to give readers’ parents a reason not to allow their kids to pick up strays!

LOTR, FMA fan Readers and Al: You really are evil!

Beregond: Aw… a stray kitty. I’m going to be a good Al look-alike and take it home with me.

Envy disguised as kitty: Mwahahahahaha.

Scar: I’ll just foreshadow here for a while, if you don’t mind.

Rick: Yeah, me too.

Beregond: Damn it, I’ve read all the books and the last one has yet to be published! I’m going to find the author and demand an explanation pronto!

Havoc: You mean Christopher Paolini?

Beregond: Yeah! *realises* No!

Havoc: Oh.

Beregond: But first, I’ll turn into a human Tolkien’s encyclopaedia.

*snores all around*

Ed and Al: Don’t mind us; we’ll be studying for some time still till the big thing.

Falman: I knew being a walking database had its usefulness! I got myself a bigger part!

Syndow: I’m the alter!Tolkien, in case there’s anyone who hasn’t taken the hint yet.

Beregond: Oh… that explains the weird feeling… Anyway, if I say that I’m just as much of a geek as you are, will you let me see your stuff?

Syndow: Sure!

Beregond: Yay!

Dante: I’m finally *cough* revealed in all my *cough cough* great *cough hack* and unsurpassable villainess… *spew* Fear my foreshadowing!

Falman, Beregond, Syndow: Blah, blah, blah… plot devices… pendants reminded… gasping revelations… theories…

Roy: I’m showing concern for Beregond… Wouldn’t want him to have a breakdown before revealing the big thing after all.

Beregond: Cliché no 10. Dreams are always symbolic and never pointless.

Syndow: So… you’re from another world, filled with Elves, Dwarves and Hobbits, came here by mistake and now you’re trying to find a way home?

Beregond: Yes.

Syndow: Wow… medieval E.T.

Beregond: And now it’s time for big revelation A!

Everyone: *gasp*

Beregond: Followed closely behind by big revelation B!

Everyone: *bigger gasp*

Al: I’m the gentle interlude before big revelation C.

Gray: I’m the not so gentle interlude. *eyes turn purple*

Ed: And now it’s time for big revelation C! I’ll be angsting in a corner if you need me.

FMA fan: *groan* We knew big revelation C already…

Thornlace: Now I’m going to hypnotise Beregond. *turns to Beregond* You asleep?

Beregond: No.

Thornlace: *thwack* Now you are.

Beregond: I’M FOLLOWING THE WHITE LIGHT! THE ANGSTY REVELATIONS ARE UPON ME!

Roy: Do you have to shout like that?

Beregond: WHERE IS YOUR SENSE OF DRAMA?

Roy: *sigh*

Thornlace: And now, besides resembling yet another LOTR character, I’m going to offer my own foreshadowing!

Beregond: *gasp*

Roy: If you don’t shout again, I’ll show you my cool silent angst trick.

Beregond: Oh, okay.

Breda: And since I haven’t done anything else than act like a wuss, I’ll just offer some foreshadowing too.

Narrator: Foreshadowing check… revelation check… romance check… angst check… I might as well wrap this up…

Beregond: *foreshadow*

Narrator: *glare*

Beregond: What? Everyone’s doing it!

Narrator: Fine… a little bit more…

Ed: I’m going to blame all of this mess to Mustang.

Al: And I’m going to defend him.

Ed: Watch it, or you’re not joining me at cliché no 11!

Al: Hmm?

Ed: When someone tells you to stay out of trouble you go to find it anyway.

Al: Oh, yeah.

Beregond: You know… angsting silently is pretty easy once you get the hang of it. I’ll go to Central and show this trick to Ed.

Havoc: And since getting bigger part means getting to decide on my own…  I’m coming with you!

FMA readers: Now we’re stunned.

Ed: Time to show that I actually know how to kick ass!

Al: You would think that for a bright alchemist and after seeing the things I’ve seen I would know better than to believe a bad guy… Observe.

Barry the Chopper: You’re fake.

Al: But…

Barry the Chopper: I said you’re fake!

Al: Okay…

Scar: Let me in the lab and I promise that I won’t kill your brother, even though he’s first on my “to kill” list.

Al: Scout’s honour?

Scar: Scout’s honour.

Al: All right then.

Tucker: I’m evil incarnated. I killed my adorable little daughter and her dog.

Greed: I’m a Homunculus, but a likeable one. It takes skill to pull that off.

Marta, Loa, Dorochet and Bido: See you on Part 3.

Kimbley: *kaboom*

Envy: Showdown at last! Now: Cliché no 12. Do what we say or we kill someone you care for.

Ed: You don’t scare me!

Envy: Then how about I tell everyone how short you really are without your hair and platform boots?

Ed: Noooooooooo! I’ll do what you want!

Envy: That’s more like it.

Hughes: It’s my turn to save the day! Eat your heart out, Mustang!

Ed: Hey, red water. I’ll just get some on my face and GO STARK MAD!

Ross: *thwack*

Ed: *crumble*

Beregond: Time to get in touch with both my feminine and comedian side. Oh, and before I forget: *foreshadow*

Narrator: *fume* I said no more of those!

Beregond: You’re no fun. *pout*

Ed: Great. I’m in a hospital, my automail’s busted again, I’m in pain and there’s no Philosopher’s Stone. Could things be any worse?

Ross: *slap*

Winry: Even though it’s my fault that your automail didn’t work, I’ll just put the blame on you anyway!

Bloch: You’re fifteen and you’ve got no girlfriend? How pathetic can you get?

Al: *cold shoulder*

Ed: *sigh* I stand corrected.

Beregond: I hate trains.

Havoc: Tough luck. We’re travelling on one.

Beregond: Fine. And I’ll have my revenge on you by telling all of the LOTR story.

Havoc: *pales*

Beregond: Un abridged.

Havoc: *pales even more*

Syndow: What do you know… I’ve got a bigger part. *gets arrested*

Roy: Let’s show how I earned the title ‘sexy womanizer’ and ‘Flame Alchemist’.

Riza: *sigh*

Narrator: Okay… now that everything’s been said, we can just close the part right…

Ed: *foreshadow*

Narrator: What was that for?!

Ed: He made me. *points at Beregond*

Narrator: *rolls eyes*

Connors: Finally, I’m placed into action! And I’m doing some serious plotting for a change.

Rick: Lalala… don’t mind me. I’m making a little contribution to the needs of the Ishbalan refugees. *steals wallet*

Beregond: MORE DEAD PEOPLE! THE AGONY! *runs away*

Havoc: So much for the silent angst…

Scar: Normally, I’d crumble even if a fly sat on my shoulder; but I don’t because I’m badass like that.

Beregond: *pwns*

Scar: *faint*

Beregond: Whoo hoo! Score one for the Gondorians!

*Gets surrounded by Ishbalans*

Beregond: Or not.

Narrator: Right… so let me wrap this up now…

Winry: Wait, I’ve got to arrive in Central and fight with Ed.

Armstrong: I want to show the gentle sensitivity that has been passed down in my family for generations!

Sarah: And I need to finally declare I like Havoc to those who haven’t taken the hint yet.

Roy: And I need to show that there are some brains behind this pretty face of mine!

Maes: I demand my wife and daughter to make an appearance!

Connors: And I demand to be shown as more ruthless and intimidating!

Narrator: *facepalm*

Scar: Time to get in touch with my anger!

Beregond: I’ll keep you tied till we talk because I’m genius that way. Nyah!

Scar: Will you tell me what my arm is for?

Beregond: Yes, because I’m stupid that way.

Scar: That actually leaves me amazed, so I’ll kill you last once everything’s over.

Beregond: Thanks… I think.

Rick: I’m just going to make myself as likeable as possible so that when I’m kidnapped, the readers will be in agony for me.

Gramps: And I’ll …

Narrator: Don’t say it!

Gramps: I’ll…

Narrator: Dooon’t.

Gramps: I’ll…

Beregond: …foreshadow.

Douglas: Me too!

Lust: Likewise.

Ed: Come to think of it, I haven’t angsted in a while too. Better not lose my touch.

Narrator: *sigh* This has become worse than the Never-ending Story.

Leo: I hate soldiers and alchemists.

Rick: They’re not that bad. *gets kidnapped*

Beregond: I’ll go and save my son’s look-alike! Who’s with me?

Havoc: Erm…

Scar: *whistles*

Beregond: *grits teeth* I’m a peace-loving person usually, but if you don’t help me I’ll beat your sorry butts to bloody pulp.

Havoc: *eek*

Scar: Since you put it that way…

Beregond: Great! If you need me, I’ll be in a corner, practising my silent angst.

Narrator: Which means I can finish this now, right?

Winry: No! I want to angst some too! *wrench hits Narrator’s head*

Narrator: *faint*

Beregond: Time to fight! And if you notice I’m not killing anyone!

Scar: Leaving me with more work. *sigh*

Beregond: Well, I never said the plan didn’t have flaws…

Havoc: I get to kick ass too! *beams*

Beregond: But nothing beats revelation D!

Havoc: Right. Okay, time to arrest Scar.

Beregond: Erm… Woe is me… everything goes dark.

Scar: Too bad. Bye.

Armstrong: And I conveniently arrive minutes after Scar leaves.

Beregond: Nooooo! I’ve become more powerful! Meh, I’ll think about it tomorrow. *snore*

Ross: Well, peace at last.

Bloch: Yeah.

Ed: Orson Welles said “Rosebud”, I say “Wayam”. It just isn’t the same.

Narrator: That was foreshadowing, wasn’t it?

Ed: Yeah… *blushes*

Winry: Time to fix the automail I was conveniently postponing!

Al: Time to get in touch with my angsty side and help the Ishbalans!

Beregond: Too late, kid. Already beat you to it.

Al: *pout*

Narrator: Is it over now?

Beregond: Hmm… yeah, I think so.

Narrator: *silly grin on face* Oh, good… *headdesk*

Ed: I guess Narrator’s not aware part 3 is gonna be even longer.

Beregond: Apparently…