And so after the two riders left Rivendell, they came to the southernmost part of the river Loudwater (also known as Bruinen to the Elves), and rode alongside it. The river ran low, Lauren guessed, because it was summer, and the blazing sun that beat on their backs helped further prove this. And wearing leather didn’t help. At all.

After about an hour the path they were following bent sharply to the left and up a steep hillside. They stopped and Lauren got out her map, and shoved it back in her pack with a growl.

"The map isn’t detailed enough to show the stupid paths," she stated with frustration.

"I think the horses can make it up the hill," Nicole said after studying the incline for a moment.

"You think so? If not, we can blaze another trail straight ahead... as long as we stay in the shadow of the mountain, we’ll be fine."

Miril neighed.

"I think she wants to try the hill," Nicole said, and patted Thinroch’s head. "What about you? Want to try the path?" Thinroch snorted and pawed the ground. "I think we should try it before we waste the afternoon picking our way through the brush."

"Alright. You go first."

Nicole gently dug the heels of her shoes into Thinroch’s sides and he trotted up the path. It took some effort to get past the steepest part, but once they were at the top, Nicole shouted down to Lauren. "The path is even up here and it goes for a long time. I’m sure Miril will be able to make it easier than Thinroch."

Lauren sighed, and spoke to Miril in her ear. "If you get a little bit of a start, it might be easier to get up that hill," she said and the horse shook her head wildly. Lauren didn’t need to squeeze the horse to get her moving. Miril had a mind of her own, but she wasn’t wild and wayward. She got herself into a good canter before speeding up the path on the hill with seemingly less effort than Thinroch.

"See? It’s wasn’t too steep. C’mon it’s probably almost four already, and we probably have another four hours to go before sundown if it’s summer."

Lauren nodded and Miril began to trot beside Thinroch when Nicole got him moving again. "Let’s see... four hours won’t get us close to any landmark, but in around two or maybe three days, we should be getting close to the base of the mountains," she predicted, pointing to the bleak rocky wall that reared itself up about thirty miles ahead of them. "But I’m sure we can make at least ten miles today, if the horses keep up this pace."

It was at around dusk when their path veered down to the right again, down a moderate decline into a valley carved out by one of the branches of Loudwater as it scurried down from the Misty Mountains. Now in that small cleft in between two forested hills it was relatively grassy, and Lauren jumped off of Miril’s back to let her graze, somehow knowing that she wouldn’t run off. The horse happily drank from the river at the bank, and continued to munch on the lush grass. Nicole did the same, again without hurt to her dignity.

"How can you get on and of your horse so perfectly when you’re wearing a goddamn dress? You aren’t even riding side-saddle!" Lauren complained. So far, though her horse was very well tempered, mounting and dismounting had been little more than an ordeal for her; and she was wearing pants.

"It’s because I’m an elf, remember?" She smiled sweetly, but there was a mocking look behind the grin.

"I’ll deal with you and your haughtiness later!" Lauren shouted as she jumped from rock to rock across the river to get to the taller hill on the other side. She wanted to get a look around. Perhaps in the morning, she would be able to see as far south as Hollin. She remembered coming back from her Aunt’s house in the mountains, and being able to see Catalina Island far off in the gross, hazy distance. That was sixty, seventy, miles perhaps? And with sickeningly huge amounts of smog choking the air as well. And Hollin was... almost fifty and one hundred miles away.

"Oh great..." Lauren muttered to herself on the hill. "Now I’m thinking like them."

She stood there on the hilltop for as long as she could, and watched the sun bleed in the western sky until all grew dark. Then she made her way back down and across the river to find Nicole sitting on a rock with the horses. She had a small fire going.

"How the hell did you pull that off?" Lauren demanded.

Nicole looked up and smirked. "Looks like our friend Glorfy snuck a few things into our packs along with the dog biscuits and apples." She held up a long knife and it glittered in the orange blaze of the fire, and a bedroll.

"But that doesn’t answer my question..."

"He slipped a tinderbox into my pack. What’s in yours?" She gestured to Lauren’s pack still clinging to Miril’s back. Lauren walked over and emptied it onto the grassy ground. Root beer... CD player... bedroll... Lembas...

"What’s this?" Lauren pulled out a small pouch from among the pile of things. It was a deep velvet bag with a drawstring; and she opened it, pulling out a small piece of paper. She read it out loud:

"Use in the terrible and unlikely event that wound or illness should befall one of your small company.
-Glorfindel"

"What d’you suppose that means?" Nicole asked, munching on a piece of bread.

"I don’t know.." Lauren turned the bag upside down, an it’s contents emptied onto her hand. It was four long sprigs of some sort of plant. The leaves were small, and it bore tiny pale blue flowers on each sprig. "Here. Smell this." She handed one to Nicole, who took it gingerly.

"It smells like rosemary or thyme, or something like that." She handed it back.

Lauren stuffed the plants and note into the pouch and drew the strings tight. "Maybe they’re for healing?"

"Maybe. What else do you have in there?"

"Well, a small wad of linen bandages to go I guess with the healing herbs... and..." she sifted through the stuff a little more. "Hey, look! I got a knife too." She held up the folded steel blade that was barely eight inches long, and placed it in it’s small sheath.

"Awesome. Glorfindel is my favorite elf now. By far," Nicole said, finishing the bread.

"Yea. He was the coolest." She fingered the knife a little bit, before thinking up a good place to put it. Grabbing her sword, she began to mess with the leather straps that were bound to the sheath that held it on her belt. Loosening them up a bit, she slid the sheath of the knife in between the straps and the sword sheath on the exterior, so it resembled Aragorn’s original sword. She stood up and showed it to Nicole by firelight. "Nifty, huh?"

Nicole gave her a thumbs-up sign. "Nice."

Lauren sat down, and silence crept over them, as well as a grey mist from the river. She looked into the dancing flames, and suddenly felt tired, and actually wanted to sleep. She wanted to ask Nicole if she was tired too.

"Dude."

"Hm."

"Are you tired?"

"Not really."

"I am."

"Really? I thought we don’t get tired."

"Yea. I know. But I’m like... wanting to go to sleep all of a sudden, even if it’s for like an hour."

"Hm. Go to sleep then."

"Will you watch the stuff?"

"Sure. The horses will help too."

"Alright."

"Good night."

"Night." Lauren unrolled her bedroll, which was little more than a thick wool blanket, laying it down on a relatively flat spot near the fire, and settled down on it. She soon drifted off into a light and peaceful sleep like a feather on the breeze as the chirping of the crickets filled her ears, and the warm night air filled her thoughts.

Lauren woke up from her little nap on the ground with a stiff neck, and looked up at the dome of glittering stars far above them. Just looking at the night sky so uncontaminated from the byproducts of technology made her want to contemplate the mysteries of the universe again. She looked over the dying embers of the fire to where Nicole was, but she had fallen asleep too and was curled up in a pitiful little ball on the ground. Both horses were asleep as well. Just as she was going to have another go at the sleep gig, she heard something on the other hill across the way. Thinroch began to get up, but Lauren whispered for him to stay put, and he settled back down again. Those horses were smart.

Lauren grabbed her sword, and tried really hard not to make any noise with it as she slowly pulled it from it’s sheath. For some reason, it wanted to make more noise than usual. She crept over to where Nicole lay and shook her to wake up. Nicole groaned and turned over, so Lauren had to resort to kicking her to get up.

"Ow!" she said loudly.

Lauren clasped her hand over Nicole’s mouth. "Shhh!" she hissed, and removed it.

"What is it?" Nicole whispered.

"I don’t know... something’s over there... hear it?" They both remained still and quiet for a moment when they heard something walking in the underbrush not too far away. As they listened harder, Lauren heard it grumbling quietly to itself.

Nicole swore in panic, and went to grab her little knife.

"Nono... you stay here. I’ll go see what it is."

Nicole eyed Lauren as if she had finally snapped.

"I’ll be careful, and I’ve got a sword. That alone will keep it a few feet away from me."

"Fine."

Lauren slowly stood up and crept around the fire and to the bank of the river. She peered out into the darkness, but saw nothing save for the vague silhouettes of trees on the other side. She heard it again, and cursed in her head. It was at times like those that she wished she had a ranged weapon to scare her enemies out of the bushes. All she could do now was wait. Come to think of it, waiting in the bushes wasn’t so bad an idea, so Lauren crouched down behind a hedge and waited some more.

As her eyes became more accustomed to the dark, she could barely see the trees on the other side, but something else was there. It was barely lighter than the rest of the landscape; white perhaps, as it stumbled towards the riverbank and began picking it’s way across the ford. What was it? Her question would soon be answered.

The thing made it’s way to the closer shore, and in the faint glow of the dying fire, Lauren could see that it was a person. Without hesitation, she leapt out from her hiding spot at the individual, pinning them to the ground with the tip of her sword inches away from their neck. It reminded her very much of the scene with Frodo pouncing on Gollum in the second movie.

"What the hell!" the person shouted. The voice definitely belonged to a male. He tried pushing Lauren off him, but no avail; he would just end up getting his own throat slit in the process. "Get off me!"

It took Lauren a moment before realizing that the voice was familiar, but Nicole beat her to it.

"Quinn!" she yelled. "What the fuck are you doing here!"

"Tell us quick," Lauren snarled. "Or I’ll leave you for the carrion birds."

"I’ll tell you when you get off me," he said poisonously.

With hesitation, Lauren let Quinn go, but she didn’t sheath her sword. He stood up and brushed himself off.

"Your explanation had better be good, or we’ll hand you over to the Elves and let the DERIF deal with you," Nicole spat.

"I thought I was going to be left for carrion birds?" he said wryly.

"The DERIF’s much worse. You’ll get hauled out of Middle-earth for good." Whether or not he knew just what that meant was a different matter, but she knew, and that's all that mattered.

"I don’t think so," Quinn said, folding his arms. "Gabriel HIMSELF gave me permission to come here."

"Oh yea? Well we answer to another holy system," Nicole replied.

"What are you talking about? God rules all worlds; even Middle-earth."

"Nope." Lauren shook her head. "Eru and the Valar have reign here."

"Well, that doesn’t matter anyways. I can’t leave until I get what I came for."

The two girls narrowed their eyes at him. "And what did you come here for," Nicole said flatly.

"Some good old Starbucks coffee."

She stared at the ground, wondering what exactly they were going to do about Quinn. "Go fill this up in the river and douse the fire with it, will you," she said, tossing him a cup.

Quinn gave one last glare before storming off to the bank to fetch some water.

"What was that?" Nicole asked.

"A cup. One last gift from Glorfindel the Awesome."

Nicole nodded as she began to roll up her bedroll. "What in the hell are we going to do about him?"

Lauren sighed. "Shit, dude. I really don’t know. He says he can't leave until he gets coffee? Then there's nothing we can do. As far as we know, he's stuck here."

"You’re saying that he’s going to come with us?" Nicole asked sharply.

"What else are we going to do? Everyone's paying for his fucking stupid decisions. And god... what the hell was Gabriel thinking..."

"I heard that!" Quinn said as he came back to their little area. "And it’s true. I can’t go back to heaven unless I get what I came for. Those Archangels have you make weird promises."

"Why would they make you do that!" Lauren spat. "Don’t they realize what exactly you were asking of them? Are they not aware at ALL of how things work here?"

Quinn shrugged. "Guess not."

"Well you can’t go prancing around in that white robe of yours. You need some smelly, dirty traveling clothes while you’re in Middle-earth," Nicole said, and flung him her cloak. "And don’t think I’m being generous. It’s for our own good. I don’t need it anyways."

Quinn gave them a questionable look, but put on the cloak anyways. "Why can't I be seen, exactly? Seeing an angel should light up their eyes in this ridiculous place."

"Because angels don’t exist here, asshole," Lauren said flatly. "They don’t know about the other fandoms, and just having the Elves keep track of all the dead Lord of the Rings fans in their blissful afterlife is enough for this little world." She told him in brief of what the guidelines in the pamphlet were. When she was done, Quinn stood there in silence.

"You had no idea what you were getting yourself into, huh?" Nicole said mockingly.

All he did was glare at her, and dump the contents of the cup onto the smoldering fire. They quickly learned how dark the world got without city lights.

After the fire was out, the real challenge lay in mounting up. Even though horses could see just about as well as humans could in the dark, Lauren asked Miril to find somewhere that would make mounting easier anyways. After scrambling onto the horse's back via nearby rock, Nicole decided it was a good idea and did the same.

"You know? I think I'm getting the hang of this," Lauren announced to no one in particular as she adjusted herself in the Elvish saddle. She heard Quinn mumble a few indistinct syllables that she assumed to be a complaint. "Don't be such a little shit, Quinn. Walking is good for you."

Even though it was completely dark save for a faint silver glow behind the mountains, she could tell he was glaring at her. She simply glared back, and he replied with some sort of snide remark that Lauren never caught. Her attention had shifted from him to a strange sort of glow that she barely saw in the gloom. At first she wasn't completely sure that it was actually there, and if it was just her eyes playing tricks on her in the darkness, but the more she looked at him, the more the luminescence seemed to shine where the cloak wasn't covering him up. "I think you need to wrap that cloak around you a bit tighter, Quinn."

"What?" His voice was devoid of patience.

Nicole cleared her throat as a sign that she knew what Lauren was talking about. That was a reassuring thought: now Lauren knew that if she were crazy, at least she wasn't the only one.

"Cover yourself up more." She restated her command in simpler words.

"Why? It's too hot to completely wrap this thing around me."

"Just do it, Quinn," Nicole said finally.

"Fine. But the least you can do is to tell me why."

"Because you're, uh..." Nicole began. "You're glowing."

Since it was nighttime, Lauren could only imagine what his facial expression was right then. He lifted his hand and looked at it in the dark for a moment, and put it down with what looked to be a smirk on his face. "So I am."

"Yes, you are. And like we've said twice already, cover yourself up more or else you had better not cry when you find out you've been ditched if we're attacked." Lauren wished he would just wrap the fucking thing up tighter so they could get going. Both her and Nicole had hundreds of miles to go, and the first day of their journey wasn't even over yet.

"Attacked? Do you seriously think that those orc things are really going to kill us? That is if there are any left."

"Oh, don't you worry, Quinn. There are plenty left to go around. Just because Sauron's empire has been destroyed, that doesn't mean his lackeys have suddenly decided to become functioning members of human society." Thinroh snorted in agreement.

"So in that case," Lauren said. "You need to hide your 'inner radiance' and start walking or we'll leave without you."

"Fine."

"And no complaining either. You brought this upon yourself."

"FINE. Any other things I'm not allowed to do before I'm dealt one of your many consequences?"

"As a matter of fact, yes," Lauren said wryly, and took a deep breath. "No complaining, no whining, no crying, no escaping, no griping, no scheming, no stealing, no questioning our decisions, no talking bad about Lord of the Rings..." She took another breath. "No running off, no making excessive amounts of noise, no talking, no thinking, and no favors."

"It that all?"

"Uhm... yeah. Yeah, that's it."

"Are we all done bickering for tonight now?" Nicole said impatiently. Lauren had almost forgotten that she was even there. "Because, like you said Lauren, we have a freaking long ways to go."

"I'm all set," she replied, patting her ansy horse.

"And how are we supposed to see?" Quinn asked.

"If you pay more attention to your surroundings rather than how horseless you are, you would notice that an almost full moon is rising," Nicole said, pointing to the silver glow behind the mountains. Apparently, whilst they were arguing, the glow had given birth to a rather large and bright fruit of Telperion, and He was rising quickly.

"Let's go, then!" Lauren said rather enthusiastically. For some reason, the rising moon had given her a sort of second wind. And with that she was off when Miril began to canter off across the ford and Thinroch closely followed. She looked back to see Quinn scuttling close behind Nicole, trying to keep his cloak on, keep up his speed, and trying not to fall in as he jumped from rock to rock, cursing and mumbling as he went. She had to bite her tongue to keep herself from laughing.

And so they continued on like that for about an hour, Miril and Lauren in front, Nicole and Thinroch in the middle, and Quinn in the rear. Miril just seemed to be having the time of her life, blazing the old path that hadn't been trodden on since the Fellowship themselves hiked on it most likely. The moon rose and Lauren could see more of the landscape around her: gray hills rising in the distance dotted with black stones and ancient walls that were overgrown with trees that bore rustling, silver leaves.

Lauren began to absentmindedly hum as she often did, but soon couldn’t help but break out into spontaneous song.

"I was movin’, and groovin’, and dancin’ to the beat, when someone behind meh, turned around and shouted ‘Pleh that faounkeh mewzic waat boy! Pleh that faounkeh mewzic riiite! Pleh that faounkeh mewzic waat boy... lay down the boogie and pleh that fonkey music ‘tiw you daai!"

"'Till you die!" Nicole replied in the proper high-pitched disco-voice.

Lauren and Nicole burst into laughter, as Quinn walked behind, not quite understanding the inside joke. "Despite the fact that that was pretty good, I thought you said no excessive noise?"

"Only when we tell you," Lauren said.

"And I guess you can talk right now," Nicole added.

"Thank you for granting me permission, your Highnesses," he said sarcastically.

Lauren decided to try and be nicer. It was taking too much energy to continuously be rude and snappy towards Quinn, even though (from what she had heard) he was a bit... well, yea. Typical guy; grows faster but matures slower than chicks, so perhaps she should give him the benefit of the doubt and not take nature’s evolutionary mishaps out on him. She could do that, easy. "You’re welcome." Being polite was the first step, right? Right. Even if her reply was sincere, he scoffed to himself anyways.

And the three continued on like that for a very long time, hyperactively singing old seventies and early eighties songs until the first light of morning. Quinn even sang one that he knew. As the sky became stained with a pinkish orange, Lauren rode on to a hilltop about a half-mile ahead. When the other two joined her, it was dawn, and the trio proceeded to watch the sun rise.

"I think we’re halfway there. If we don’t stop at all, I think we could make it to the foothills after nightfall," Lauren said, looking at the mountains again.

Quinn sat down on a rock and massaged his heel. "If I had known I’d be walking from one end of the world to the other, I would’ve asked Gabriel to grant me a pair of Nike’s. My feet hurt so bad," he griped. Lauren felt a tad sorry for him, but found it a little amusing watching him suffer at the same time. She was a somewhat disappointed to see Nicole dismount (with grace) and stand there, seeming to wait for Quinn to say something. "You're such a girl. Get on."

He glanced around dramatically, a grin spreading on is stupid face. "Here? Now?" He pointed to the ground in front of him.

Nicole said flatly, "Get on the horse."

"Oh." Dissed and dismissed!

He got on much easier than Lauren would ever have thought. She was now thoroughly convinced that horses and their saddles were unanimously against her.

As Lauren predicted, the second time, they reached the base of the mountains about an hour or two after dark. Quinn began to complain again at how much his feet hurt, after having to get off the horse at around noon and walk again. Lauren was beginning to regret ever bringing him along.

"At least he won’t go eating all of our food," Lauren said to Nicole in a hushed whisper as Quinn went to take a leak.

"I wouldn’t be so sure..."

As if on cue, Quinn came back to where they were situated. "I’m hungry."

Those two simple words made Lauren lose her cool for some reason. Maybe it was she thought that he still didn’t get it. She stood up and confronted him. "Look, ‘messenger of God’, we only have so much food. If you're the only one eating, it'll probably only last us until we get to Dunland if you eat one a day." Luckily she hadn’t eaten any yet, and now she didn't really plan to. "After that you’ll have to either hunt, or ask for food if we run into anyone. And I refuse to let you ask anything of the Wild Men."

Quinn looked surprised, a little scared, and a little hurt. "What am I supposed to eat then?"

"I don’t know. You should think of this sort of thing before you go barging into other people’s fandoms."

Nicole, however, seemed to be thinking about something else. She quietly walked up to the two and put a finger to her lips to shut them up. She looked around the trees in the dark. "I think it would be a good idea if we were a little quieter," she said in a low voice.

Lauren looked at her like she'd said the stupidest thing in the world, but after a few minutes of silence, she knew what she was talking about. Exactly what she was talking about. Lauren brushed aside her bangs and strained to see anything else through the trees, but her eyes saw nothing. Quinn wrapped himself up in the cloak and put the hood on to cover his light up more. "Anyone sleeping tonight?" Lauren whispered. She got a maybe from both of them. "Then I think we should start having watches." They nodded.

"What exactly is going on?" Quinn asked in a whisper as well.

"Being an angel, I would think that you could feel when you’re being watched and the like, Quinn," Lauren replied.

"...What do you mean?" Lauren could tell he was getting scared.

"Orcs, you dolt. Wandering the wilderness to hide from people hunting them down."

"Why are they here, though?"

"They’re everywhere," Nicole said. "But they’re dispersed, because (like we already said) Sauron and his posse of Nazgul are long gone."

"Oh."

Suddenly the horses came up to them and began to hurriedly nuzzle their owners. "And you need to stop asking questions, because it appears we have company." Lauren drew her sword and put her hood on. The three of them heard the stomping of many feet in the distance, and began to panic. "Alright... alright. I’ve got a plan," Lauren said quickly as Nicole and Quinn tried to scramble up the same horse. "We do like Bilbo and climb some trees so the orcs won’t see us if they’re coming this way."

"What about the horses?"

"We let them go, but they’ll come back when the danger is passed. Got it?"

"Yea."

"Right."

"Now get going!" Lauren told the horses to come back when they whistled for them, but escape the orcs by whatever means. They snorted and ran off. She joined her companions in scrambling up two sturdy looking oak trees, and Lauren loaned Nicole her cloak to cover up the light colors of her robes. Quinn curled into a little ball on a wide branch, actually doing a pretty good job at being invisible. Lauren figured her ensemble was earthy-toned enough as it was.

The three of them waited in fearful silence high up in the trees as the pounding footsteps drew nearer, and harsh cries could be heard.

"What do we do if the horses don’t come back?" The muffled voice of Quinn could be heard a few branches away. He was answered with two harsh, yet quiet ‘SHUT UP!’s from the two girls.

Lauren listened as hard as her two still human ears could. Was it her, or did the feet seem to be moving away from them? "I think they might be going into the mountains..."

"Where into the mountains? Moria is still like a hundred miles away," Lauren heard Nicole whisper.

"I don’t know, but it doesn’t sound like they’re coming North anymore... more like East."

"Let’s just wait a little longer, okay?" Yep. Quinn was freaked out.

And so they waited, Lauren guessed for about fifteen more minutes. The thunderous footsteps had completely died away.

"Before we get down, let me see if I can see anything." Lauren proceeded to climb higher into the tree with the uttermost caution. Tree-climbing was very hard if you couldn’t see Jack Shit. She reached the highest branch that could hold her, and poked her head out through the boughs. She looked southward, and could see nothing except for the black mass that was the forest as far as she could see. Not even a faint glow of Rivendell could she spot when facing west. She climbed back down.

"What exactly were you looking for?" Nicole asked.

"Fires."

"Fires? Why fires?" She heard Quinn say.

"If they stopped instead of going into the mountains, they would have camped. And if they camped, they would’ve made a fire. And since I saw no such thing, they probably did go into the mountains as first was speculated."

"Right."

"Now let’s get down before we’re eaten alive by these gnats and mosquitos."

"Actually, guys, I don’t, uh, I don’t mind sleeping in a tree..." Quinn was not convinced that danger was past them.

"He really is a pussy, huh?" Lauren murmured to Nicole who nodded in agreement. "It’s fine now, Quinn. As long as you don’t fall and kill yourself again there’s nothing to worry about for the time being." She nimbly found her way down the tree, and whistled. Luckily Thinroch and Miril hadn’t gone too far off, noticing that the orcs were still a distance away.

"You can share a horse with me," Nicole said, approaching her mount. "We can’t afford to leave you behind if we need to make a quick getaway." They proceeded to get on as Lauren was already to go.

"It would be best if we stayed moving as long as any of us can take it, now that we know orcs are still abroad."

"Good point," Nicole said.

"Luckily we don’t get tired easily, and same with the horses."

"I don’t know if I get tired here, because I don’t get tired in heaven, but I got somewhat hungry here, and I don’t normally get hungry in heaven..." Quinn said.

"Well, I guess you could have our Lembas, because we don't need to eat. Let's go."

They were off yet again, but this time it didn’t seem like a good dream anymore. It was reality, or at least now it was, and she had no interest in ending up in Purgatory again so quickly.

The night crept by in eerie silence as none of them dared to speak, in desperate hopes of passing by the group of orcs without being noticed. And it seemed to Lauren that it worked, for they reached morning without any harm.

And so they traveled like that for two days straight, and growing all the more comfortable again along the way, until by the closing of the second day they talked and sang again without fear of being heard by unfriendly ears.

"Hey, Nicole. Looks like your acne is clearing up finally," Lauren said as she chewed on a leaf.

"Really? That’s awesome. You know? Is it me, or is your hair longer than it was when we first got here?"

"Hmm." Lauren brushed her bangs aside again. "I think you’re right. I never remembered having them grow past my eyes like this... d’you think it’s some side effect of being issued new bodies? Perfect skin and hair that grows an inch a week?"

"It probably is," Quinn added. "I’ve noticed it. Your freckles are fading a little too."

"My freckles?" Lauren murmured, touching her cheek. "But I like my freckles... I'll look awful without them."

"You probably won’t notice much if it’s gradual like that," Nicole suggested.

"Eh, you’re probably right."

Suddenly Lauren felt something whistle past her right cheek, just barely grazing the skin. She jerked her head to the left, and spun around in the saddle. "The fuck was..." her eyes widened with a gasp. "DUCK!" She shouted to Quinn and Nicole behind her as another arrow whizzed past them, barely missing the boy. They heard something bark out an order in a horrible gnashing language from the trees behind them as four dark figures appeared in the green.

"Whatdowedo... whatdowedo..." Nicole said, scrambling for her little knife in the pack. Quinn had nothing.

They were outnumbered by one, which was not bad at all, considering only one of the Fellowship (of nine) died during an assault by one hundred enemies. Those were fantastic odds! Perhaps she could utilize some previous knowledge of how to deal with these sort of situations she learned from TV... Wit! Wit was a formidable weapon in these humorous occurrences. Or perhaps it was the wit that made them humorous...

With the orcs coming closer, Lauren blurted out the first thing that came to mind, to perhaps confuse her enemies. "CHILI-CHEESE FRIES!"

It seemed to work. The orcs stopped and looked at her as if she had gone senile, but unfortunately her own comrades did the same.

"What the hell do you think you’re doing!" Nicole hissed.

The orcs just laughed. "The crazy ones were always the most fun to eat alive," one of them said in a disgusting manner typical of orcs. He had a British accent, of course.

Sadly, wit did not come as easily as she thought in these situations, and all of the one-liners she could come up with, all were corny beyond belief, so she decided to shut up and try her hand as swordplay.

"Bring it," Lauren growled and tried to look as formidable as she could, the sword gripped tightly between nervous hands and her feet planted firmly on the ground. She lunged forward in a feeble attempt to bring one down, but as ridiculous as it sounds, the orcs were better at fighting than her. The head one simply stepped out of the way and she fell face first into the dirt at their feet. Crap.

One of their wet and smelly hands grabbed the back of her tunic and hoisted her up, pulling her a little too close to his face. Lauren’s stomach reeled. His breath smelled like curdled milk and dog shit.

"Please don’t breathe on me," she coughed. "Your breath smells really, really bad." He smiled all gross-like and opened his mouth wide, sending out two lung-fulls of air right in her face. Lauren gagged as he held his rusty knife up to her jugular, and pressed it into the skin a little too much for her liking. But suddenly his grip on her loosened followed by some cursing in the Black Tongue. Lauren used this window of opportunity to escape from the clutches of these fiends before the others could spring on her, though they tried, but she regrouped with Nicole and Quinn. A quick glance was all that she needed to know who threw the stone, and Quinn already had another one poised in the palm of his hand, and alongside him was Nicole with a rather large stick. Where was the knife?

Though for most of her life she had always been the "tough chick", and after becoming a Lord of the Rings fan, she always thought if the situation called for it, she would go and kill orcs without hesitation. But now that she was faced with a situation that could very well call for it, killing had a whole other meaning.

"Plan?" Nicole asked, her knuckles white from holding the stick too tightly. Anxious and scared? Hell yes.

"Get away safely by whatever means possible?"

"Good plan... good plan..."

"Enough of this!" One of the orcs snarled, and the rest grunted in agreement. One went to take care of Nic and Quinn, whilst three of them came at Lauren, probably because she was acting like such a retard.

Okay... okay... what do you know about sword fighting... Well, there was that scene in the Fellowship when Boromir was showing Pippin how to fight, but... But Lauren’s train of thought was interrupted when a sword was planning on coming down on her hard from above, so she quickly blocked it with a defensive posture. Not exactly thinking, and with three orcs surrounding her, she began to try and fight them. Swipe... block... block... jab... slash... block... duck... swipe... evade... block... slash. That was what it was like in general, occasionally interrupted by a stone being thrown by Quinn, and a warcry from Nicole. Duck... move... stab... swipe. Yes! She finally hit one of them, but there was no time for a victory dance, seeing as HUGE BLOODY the gash on the orc’s upper arm didn’t hinder him one bit. She shouted out a curse word as a rusty blade planted itself into her arm as well, and the aggressor laughed and continued to attack. The adrenaline didn't help much in dulling the mind-numbing pain that wracked her entire arm every time she swung, but it was either that or, well, death.

To her surprise and immeasurable relief, one of the orcs fell to the ground with a strangled cry as a particularly large rock hit him square in the back of the head. Quinn and Nicole (armed with a new stick and more rocks) ran to Lauren’s side, there being two orcs left.

But having completely forgotten about Miril and Thinroch, she almost jumped out of her skin when the two horses suddenly came back to the fray, and kicked the living daylights out of the last two.

"NOW they come and help us!" Nicole cried in frustration.

"Be glad that they were here at all!" Quinn said, stepping around the four unconscious orcs. Or at least she thought they were unconscious; one was bleeding in the head. Well, three unconscious orcs... but that was still three too many.

"What do we do with these three?" Lauren asked, shaking a little.

"What I want to know is where they came from," Quinn said, taking a closer look at the foul things.

"You know what? I’ll bet that they were a part of that party we saw back there and they were sent to stalk us," Nicole speculated.

"But if they were following us for two days and we didn’t realize it, then there’s a good chance that there’s more..." Lauren said, almost talking to herself.

The three of them just stood there and said nothing.

Lauren gulped. "Uhm... did you guys suddenly get a feeling of impending doom?"

"Ye-hes," both of them said in unison. They were silent again, listening for anything, but there was only the whisper of leaves in the gentle breezes and the song of birds.

Lauren cleared her throat. "So if we leave them here, they might wake up in a little while and, you know, seek wrathful revenge all orc-like."

Quinn eyed her, and said: "Are you suggesting we... kill them while they’re still unconscious?"

"Not in so many words... but yes. I’d like to refer to it as disposal. ‘Kill’ is such a grotesque word," she said, a hint of unease in her voice. "But the way I look at is: either them, or us."

"Them..."

"Definitely them."

Lauren inhaled sharply, looking down at the pitiful, misshapen things sprawled out on the grassy ground. She looked hopefully at Nicole and Quinn, but both of them backed away, shaking their heads. "It’s your idea. Do your own dirty work," Nicole said.

"Fine," Lauren mumbled, standing over one of the bodies, positioning the tip of her sword over his stomach. She closed her eyes, and... stab! The blade embedded itself into the rotting flesh as cleanly as possible without any sickening crunches or snapping; just a mushy, squishy sound as she filled some of the orc’s vital organs with a few holes. She partially opened one eye to look at her handiwork, but quickly closed it again at the sound of Quinn upchucking some of his Lembas. Lauren’s own stomach turned a bit as Quinn's sound effects were not helping at all.

"That has to be the most disgusting thing I have ever done, or ever plan to do," Lauren griped. Quinn was recovering from the initial shock.

"Well, you better plan on doing it some more because you still have two left," Nicole said, trying not to look as she patted the angel's back.

She shot a look at her Elven friend. "Seriously: don’t remind me."

"Hurry up... We better get going..."

So once again, closing her eyes shut and hoping Quinn did the same, she proceeded to put the orcs out of their misery. In between the... whatever it was that Lauren was doing (killing unfairly, she supposed) she heard Nicole mutter: "It’s the Alien vs. Predator gig all over again." And it was promptly followed with more vomiting from Quinn.

All of a sudden Nicole gave a cry of pain and Lauren turned to see her hunched over, clutching her shoulder. There was a gurgling laughter from her left, and another arrow whistled past her.

"Fucking hell! Don’t you guys ever die!" Lauren sped over to the orc in a zig-zag fashion, to lessen the risk of getting hit. Luckily, all he had was the bow. Quinn lobbed another stone at the orc, which hit him in the back and knocked him forward a bit, throwing him off-balance. Without thinking much, Lauren tensed up and swung at it from the side, and her sword embedded itself in the orc’s arm. She could have sheared the limb right off had the bone not been there. The orc cried out, and dropped the bow, using his other good arm to hit Lauren square in the jaw. She unstuck her weapon and hacked at his other side, then snatched up the bow before he could grab it. He glanced at the ground behind her, probably eying a discarded sword.

"Don’t you dare," Lauren snarled, tossing the bow behind her and doing her best to ignore the pain. To her dismay, the orc reached behind him and brandished a rusty dagger.

Then, without thinking at all this time in a sudden fit of rage, she gathered her remaining strength and swung again, cutting through a good portion of the orc’s neck. It toppled to the ground and Lauren had to dislodge the blade from it’s flesh. With a single stroke for each, she hewed off the orc's arms as well. "That'll teach you to hold a weapon ever again," she muttered. Lauren stood up again but after a minute, seeming to snap out of her crazed bloodthirst and return to reality with a hard fall. Looking at the orc's body, she gasped and backed away with horror as if it were someone else’s handiwork. What had happened? She took another shaky step back, looking at Nicole and Quinn who had stopped short of themselves, strange looks on their faces.

"Lauren?" Nicole asked in a low voice, as if she wasn’t sure that it was her friend that stood in front of her at all. She still clutched the slight wound on her shoulder. "You okay?"

The girl blinked. "Yeah. I just... I didn't know I could... do that." She remained standing where she was, staring at the bodies on the ground for a few more minutes.

Nicole approached Lauren. "Come on. We should clean you up. You look disgusting."

Lauren was suddenly aware of the screaming pain in her opened arm, and the dark redness seeping through her torn sleeve. Fortunately, the adrenaline had dulled it almost completely for a few moments, but that chemical was draining from her system and the endorphins hadn't kicked in yet. On top of that, her good arm was already beginning to hurt from flailing around with a goddamned heavy sword.

"Let’s get out of here first."

Lauren proceeded to clean her blade and sheath it, then picked up the orcish bow. She took the half-empty quiver of arrows off the back of one of the orcs and strapped it onto her own back. She didn’t think Nicole or Jesus-boy would know how to use it well enough to risk wasting what precious few arrows were left.

"I think it might be a good time to use this..." Nicole said, looking down at the pouch Glorfindel had slipped in their pack.

Lauren studied her wound closely; she might have been able to pass it off as a dog mauling? "My arm hurts so bad... Ugh. It’s all bleeding everywhere. And that shit stains..."

Quinn took at the bag and briefly looked inside. "How do we use it?"

"I’m... not sure."

"Let me see..." Quinn came over to Lauren and looked closely at the gaping wound, holding onto her arm. Strangely enough, it seemed that the pain went away completely as soon as Quinn’s hands came in contact with the exposed skin around the wound. "Nicole! Take a look at this!" he almost squealed, letting go of Lauren’s arm. But as soon as he let go, the pain came back almost as fast and hard as it did when she received the blow.

"Shit! Put your hands back! Put them back!" Lauren demanded. Nicole was at her side, Quinn returned his hands to her arm, and in no time the same anesthetic feeling crept through her veins, completely numbing the appendage.

"Oh my fucking god!" Nicole burst out.

"What? What?" Lauren looked down at her arm and saw what was happening. Quinn’s hands were glowing especially bright as they worked away at healing the wound. Before her very eyes the skin had healed and closed, leaving a only blood on the surface.

The three of them stared for a little while, and Lauren wiped the blood with her sleeve to reveal whole skin underneath, the only mark left behind being a long, thin scar.

Quinn slowly let go, but the three of them continued to stare in disbelief for a few moments before Nicole suddenly jumped on him in a big hug. "I love you Quinn! You saved Lauren!" she squealed.

He returned the hug after a moment. "Did I? I did... didn’t I?" He looked at Nicole with a gasp. "And you love me?"

She stepped away and stood next to Lauren. "Uh, platonic love. I know it's a big word, but say it with me: pluh-tah-nick."

The young man just sighed dejectedly.

"I’m not going to hug you, but I will say thanks. And as Narthas would say: You’re quite the asset to this rag-tag crew of harmlessly loud-mouthed cohorts."

"Who’s Narthas?" Quinn asked.

"No one you know, or ever will know. I’ll draw him for you sometime." Lauren paused. "Shouldn’t it be Nicole’s turn?"

Quinn glanced at Nicole, and was aware of her shoulder again. "Oh. Right." He went over to her, and put his hand on the arrow wound. Luckily, the tip and shaft had only grazed the skin, and in an instant, Nicole was healed as well.

Lauren called the horses and the three of them mounted, and continued on their way and a quick trot, wanting to leave the memory of slaughter behind them in the clearing.

A few hours passed and was filled with mindless chit-chat, when Nicole took out the map, and examined it closely. Suddenly Nicole burst out. "Look! Lauren! Quinn, look!"

"What?"

"Straight ahead; see that part of the mountain that comes down like that?" She pointed to a particularly long foothill in the distance.

Lauren squinted in a southerly direction. "What about it?"

"I thought you would know. But it’s Hollin on the other side!"

"Really? We’re come that far?" The girl blinked and smiled.

"Fuck yeah we have."

"Augh, fuck. Gondor is still a shit long ways away."

"What’s in Hollin?" Quinn asked.

"It’s the land just north of Moria’s West Gate."

"Moria..." Quinn mumbled, obviously searching his memory for the familiar term. "Moria... you mean that dark cavern place that the fellowship went into with that fire monster thing in it? Please don’t tell me we’re going there."

"Two things, Quinn," Lauren began, counting points on her fingers. "One, Gandalf killed the Balrog in the first book. Two, it was probably purged of goblins after the war and three, even possibly reclaimed by the Dwarves after that."

"Yeah, or not," Quinn put in.

But Nicole brought up another point. "Hey, wasn’t the West Gate destroyed by the watcher?"

"Well, that will be a good test then, won't it? If there's still rubble there at the West Gate, then we steer clear of Moria and take the road through the Gap. If it's clean, we investigate."