A Parody
Once More, with Fellowship
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All the characters and the plot belong to J. R. R. Tolkien and Joss Whedon; I am the proud owner of all the confusions, perversions and mistakes.
STARRING
Gandalf . . . Buffy Summers
Aragorn . . . Giles
Gimli . . . Xander
Legolas . . . Anya
Pippin . . . Dawn
Merry . . . Willow
Treebeard . . . Tara
Saruman . . . Sweet
Sauron . . . Sauron
Act I
The first act takes place in Fangorn Forest. The stage is broad, with trees in the background and on the sides of the center stage. There is a clearing at center stage, and two clear spaces far to the sides in front of the wings that project a little towards the audience. The space at the far end of Stage Right is a rock ledge with a rough set of steps leading up to it from the direction of center stage.
Scene 1
Scene I
As the music of the Overture begins, we see various members of the Fellowship one after another. Pippin and Merry scramble up a ledge to where Treebeard waits at far Stage Right. On far Stage Left, Gimli and Legolas bicker as they break camp, while Aragorn stares off into the forest. Gandalf enters near them, so that Aragorn peers after him and starts to point him out to Legolas and Gimli. Before he can, Gandalf slips out of sight behind trees and reemerges on center stage. The rest of the Fellowship exit unnoticed.
[Gandalf the White walks through the forest at night. An orc rushes at him and the wizard swats it down as he begins to sing.]
Gandalf:
First Age to the Third, the same old story:
No matter what horror’s occurred.
By now, all these final stands just bore me:
Even when I die – death is just a word!
I observed the birth of Middle Earth –
What’s it really worth?
I’ve been going through the motions,
Distant from it all
Nothing seems to break my endless fall.
[A trio of Uruk-hai attack him.]
I was always wise and kind of subtle
Now I’d say advisedly
Come to realize, the same old muddle
Goes on endlessly.
[With a flash of light he drives them back.]
Lead Uruk:
Wretched wizardry!
Gandalf:
Why don’t you just flee?
[They scatter.]
Will it stay this way forever?
Go on with this vain endeavor
I was good at grey – but never
Did I think to be
Going through the motions
Losing all my drive
I can’t even see if this is really me
And if I want to be
Alive –
[Gandalf ends on a rock shelf facing east over a vast expanse of trees descending in ranks towards the plain of Rohan. It is the same ledge that we saw Merry and Pippin on earlier. He spreads his arms wide as if to embrace all of Middle Earth while the music swells.]
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All the characters and the plot belong to J. R. R. Tolkien and Joss Whedon; I am the proud owner of all the confusions, perversions and mistakes.
STARRING
Gandalf . . . Buffy Summers
Aragorn . . . Giles
Gimli . . . Xander
Legolas . . . Anya
Pippin . . . Dawn
Merry . . . Willow
Treebeard . . . Tara
Saruman . . . Sweet
Sauron . . . Sauron
Act I
The first act takes place in Fangorn Forest. The stage is broad, with trees in the background and on the sides of the center stage. There is a clearing at center stage, and two clear spaces far to the sides in front of the wings that project a little towards the audience. The space at the far end of Stage Right is a rock ledge with a rough set of steps leading up to it from the direction of center stage.
Scene 1
Scene I
As the music of the Overture begins, we see various members of the Fellowship one after another. Pippin and Merry scramble up a ledge to where Treebeard waits at far Stage Right. On far Stage Left, Gimli and Legolas bicker as they break camp, while Aragorn stares off into the forest. Gandalf enters near them, so that Aragorn peers after him and starts to point him out to Legolas and Gimli. Before he can, Gandalf slips out of sight behind trees and reemerges on center stage. The rest of the Fellowship exit unnoticed.
[Gandalf the White walks through the forest at night. An orc rushes at him and the wizard swats it down as he begins to sing.]
Gandalf:
First Age to the Third, the same old story:
No matter what horror’s occurred.
By now, all these final stands just bore me:
Even when I die – death is just a word!
I observed the birth of Middle Earth –
What’s it really worth?
I’ve been going through the motions,
Distant from it all
Nothing seems to break my endless fall.
[A trio of Uruk-hai attack him.]
I was always wise and kind of subtle
Now I’d say advisedly
Come to realize, the same old muddle
Goes on endlessly.
[With a flash of light he drives them back.]
Lead Uruk:
Wretched wizardry!
Gandalf:
Why don’t you just flee?
[They scatter.]
Will it stay this way forever?
Go on with this vain endeavor
I was good at grey – but never
Did I think to be
Going through the motions
Losing all my drive
I can’t even see if this is really me
And if I want to be
Alive –
[Gandalf ends on a rock shelf facing east over a vast expanse of trees descending in ranks towards the plain of Rohan. It is the same ledge that we saw Merry and Pippin on earlier. He spreads his arms wide as if to embrace all of Middle Earth while the music swells.]
Re: Once More with Fellowship
